If you are thinking about, or are already involved in long distance relationship, there are a few things you want to keep in mind in order to be successful. Take what you can from this list of 10 Commandments of Long Distance Relationships and use it to strengthen your own relationship with your partner.
1. Respect yourself and respect your partner.
Respect means recognizing our own worth and the worth of others. In relationships, we all want to feel loved and respected. Aside from making us feel good, it has a positive benefit too; feeling respected helps us to trust, love and understand our partner better. Respecting one another works both ways and is the best thing you can do for your relationship.
Ways to do this:
- Choose your words carefully when speaking to each other.
- Respect your partner’s personal boundaries, views and opinions.
- Don’t lie to your partner or break promises.
- Be willing to show each other consideration or compromise.
2. Stay positive about your relationship.
It’s been said a million times because it’s true; Long distance relationships are not easy. There is lots of waiting, planning, stressing and sometimes there’s lots of disappointment. Do not dwell on those disappointments or setbacks. That is the surest way to go about crumbling your relationship little by little.
According to a study done by The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, 70 % of all failed LDRs are caused by disappointing setbacks. That is why its so important to always stay positive about your relationship and your plans to be together. Keep looking forward and realistically reshaping your goals no matter what obstacles you face.
3. Spend as much time together as you can.
Spending time together doesn’t have to mean being physically together. Even when you’re far apart, make it an active goal to stay connected and do things together through whatever mediums you have available.
Skype, facetime, Whatsapp and other websites, games and applications are awesome ways to spend time together even when there is still distance between you.
If you’re serious about your relationship you definitely don’t want to spend long periods of time “away” or disconnected from each other. Your feelings can easily fade if you aren’t staying connected in some way, even if it’s small.
4. Be creative and keep it fun.
Make up for what you’re lacking in physical proximity with creativity. Plan to have fun dates. Send one another care packages, open when letters and gifts. Leave love notes in unexpected places when you visit, or leave them voice messages that they can listen to whenever they want.
Make the relationship fun in ways that you couldn’t if you were together. If you do this, you won’t miss the physical aspect of being together quite so badly -or at least you can distract yourselves from it.
5. Be forgiving & ready to compromise
No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. In a long distance relationship mistakes, arguments and disagreements can sometimes seem to blow out of proportion. Being stressed about the distance can make things seem a lot worse than they are. Always be willing to step back, take a deep breath and evaluate any bad situation fairly.
Be generous and forgiving when your partner makes a mistake and your partner will likely be more quick to forgive your own screw-ups.
6. Make decisions and plans together.
Avoid major drama by coming up with a game plan for your LDR now as well as your relationship in the future. Take one anothers feelings, thoughts and concerns into consideration. All major decisions, including when you’ll close the distance, who will move where and how often you will both visit, will need to be agreed upon by both parties.
In a healthy, equal relationship both partners should feel that their opinion is valuable and carries weight and that they have played an active part in planning the next steps of the relationship.
7. Communicate often and be open.
Don’t expect your partner to automatically know what’s bothering you. It’s hard enough to mis-communicate when you’re close -imagine how much easier it would be when you’re bother super far apart.
A good relationship takes a lot of understanding and communication. In LDRs, you have to take that communication to the next level. Being in love with your partner does not mean that all will run smoothly. If something is bothering you, vocalize it. Missing each other? Vocalize it. Let each other know how you are both feeling so there are no assumptions or misunderstandings.
8. Don’t isolate yourselves from other people.
You miss your partner and that’s understandable, but you should certainly never let that longing for them keep you from living your own life. Some of us may have to work hard to keep active and social when our partner and ‘best friend’ is away from us, but isolating yourself is keeping you away from new experiences!
Branching out, keeping active and doing things that you love when you can’t hang-out with your partner is a big step towards keeping your half of the relationship emotionally healthy. If you’re both staying active, you’ll both have that much more to say share and learn about each other while you are both apart.
9. Be romantic.
Creating romantic moments in your relationship is something everyone thinks about doing, but few people actually do it. Use the long distance as an opportunity to tap into the idea of romance by surprising your partner in new ways.
Have flowers delivered to their house, write love letters or serenade them over a webcam chat. This will spice up your relationship in ways you can’t even imagine and when you’re finally together -sparks will fly!
10. Really appreciate what you have.
At the end of the day you have someone who loves you and is waiting for you and the time when you can both be together again. Distance is hard yes and it’s easy to dwell on that fact, but don’t forget to appreciate that special person who loves you enough to deal with all of the inconvenience of a relationship like this one.