Mind Over Miles: Help! He won’t talk to me!

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Dear Mind over Miles,

My S/O has been not talking to me in the way that he use to. We use to talk all the time and lately it seems like he just doesn’t want to talk. He use to call me cute nicknames and now he doesn’t. Everything he replies is one word answers. I don’t know what to do. We have been dating for 7 months. I tried to give him time and see if something is bothering him and he said nothing was, or he just doesn’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to break up but it seems like he may. I called him and we talked and on the phone he seemed perfectly fine and said it wasn’t me. What should I do?

-Jessi


Dear Jessi,

If you feel like something is wrong, it probably is.

Listen to your gut. A relationship is supposed to be a place of security and emotional stability. You should never feel alienated from your partner. So when something is wrong, your first symptom is the uneasiness you feel about your relationship. The lack of connection and emotional intimacy is a big red flag.

A relationship cannot survive without meaningful communication.

You mentioned that he is giving you one word answers. This is another red flag. That’s his way of telling you that he no longer wants to connect with you. He doesn’t want you to know how he feels and what is going on with him. But regardless of how patient you are and how much time and space you give him, if he won’t talk to you your relationship will die like a flower that hasn’t been watered for weeks.

You and your boyfriend need to talk.

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Until you two have a real heart to heart you’re just wasting each others time. Ask him to be honest with you about how he feels. Tell him not to worry about hurting you but to just tell you if your relationship has a future. Is he committed to you? Where does he see himself in 5 years? With or without you? You don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t really want you.

He is not treating you with respect.

If someone loves you they want to talk to you and be with you as much as they can. Love is not wishy-washy. Listen to your gut feeling and move on if that’s what it takes to make sure you have the right man who will treat you like the queen you are. Make it clear that you don’t want to waste time and that you need to be treated with respect.

Wishing you the best,

Mind Over Miles


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