People say that long distance relationships are not for everyone. They even say that it is not for the faint of heart. But just because your LDR did not work out does not mean you were weak and that you did not do your best to fight for it.
Ending a long distance relationship is hard, especially when you have put in so much effort, and when you and your long distance partner have come a long way just to make it work.
However, sometimes, you just have to do it. You have to end a relationship that is no longer working. You have to let go of things that no longer make you happy, and it is going to be difficult.
Due to this, we’ve come up with some ideas on how to help yourself heal right after your LDR breakup.
01 Give yourself time to grieve.
Get away from people. Sulk in a corner. Cuddle with your favorite pillow or your favorite teddy bear. Cry. Let the world hear you and feel your heartache. Let it all out, and don’t hold back your tears. Do it again and again, until there’s nothing left to cry about. It will help you release all the negative feelings you have, and when you’re done with it, it will make you feel a whole lot better.
There is nothing wrong with grieving for a relationship that has ended. Everyone experiences this, so you have to give yourself some time to grieve for it and reflect on it.
02 Reflect on your relationship.
You also need to allot some time to reflect on your relationship, and instead of thinking of what you and your partner didn’t do, or what both of you lacked that caused the failure of your relationship, think of all the things you did.
Focusing on the things you did to make your relationship work would help you understand why it failed. This way, you get to see what you did, whether it was too much or it was not enough, and you will learn so much from it.
03 Learn from any past mistakes.
Every relationship you go through would surely teach you a lesson, but sometimes, we forget what these lessons are, and we tend to unlearn them once we get into another relationship. It is important that you do not let this happen. You have to think and remember what mistakes you should never do again, and what things you did that would cause you another problem.
04 Reach out to people you trust.
Once you’ve broken up with someone who meant so much to you, you may find it difficult to trust people again. You have to remember that you are not alone, and sometimes it is not healthy to keep things to yourself. Sometimes, you have to reconnect with people you trust, and let them know what has been going on with you.
Reconnecting with people you trust will make you feel better about yourself, because you know and you’re reassured that there are still some people out there who will listen to you and whom you can talk to about anything without worrying.
05 Indulge yourself in something you love.
Think of the things that you love. Think of everything that makes you happy. Is it chocolate cake or peanut butter cookies? Go eat a whole tray. Is it One Direction or Maroon 5 music? Go buy all their albums and maybe even buy a ticket to their concert. Is it traveling? Bungee jumping? Sky diving? Go get your passport and buy one-way tickets. Indulge yourself. Don’t deprive yourself of the things that make you happy, even when it means you have to spend money on it.
Of course you don’t always have to spend just to indulge yourself in something you love. Just think of the things that you will enjoy doing or having, and have the time of your life with it.
06 Surround yourself with people who care.
Sometimes the most comforting people to be around with are the people close to your heart — your family and your best friends. They are the ones who will always be there for you when you need it, and they undoubtedly always care about you.
07 Don’t isolate yourself when you feel low.
Sometimes isolating yourself is good, but it can get bad when you do it every time you feel low. Try your best not to be alone when you get lonely and depressed. Try to be around people. Go out and don’t just stay in your room and sulk the entire day. After allowing yourself to grieve, you have to push yourself and pick yourself back up again.
08 Maintain a healthy distance from your ex.
When you’ve just ended your relationship, it is acceptable for you to still keep a copy of your ex’s pictures and messages, and not delete their contact numbers. It is okay to hope that things will still work out in the future, but you have to keep a healthy distance from your ex. You do not have to completely block him/her out of your life right on the spot. Healing takes time, and you have to go through baby-steps again to be able to completely get over your relationship.
09 Reconnect with nature, go biking or walking.
Immersing yourself in the beauty of nature once again will help you achieve a peace of mind. Going for a wake or biking will definitely make you feel better as nature will calm your soul and your troubled thoughts.
10 Find things to be thankful for in each day.
You could either start writing a gratitude diary or a blog, or just think of that things you are thankful for. It could be your best friend for sticking up with you, your mom or your dad for giving you helpful advice, your pet for providing you comfort, the food you get to eat during the day, the stranger who smiled at you on the street, the clear, blue sky, the warm weather, the air you breathe — basically appreciate everything that continuously exist around you.
Recognizing things and learning to appreciate them will make you feel better about yourself. You get to realize that there’s so much more to life than thinking about your failed relationship.
11 Don’t obsess over what could have been.
One of the mistakes some people make when trying to get over a relationship that has just been ended is obsessing over that things they could have done and things that could have happened. You have to try your best to not think of the could-have-beens and just remind yourself that things happen for a reason.
12 Adopt a positive mantra for each day.
To be able to help yourself heal from your heartaches, you have to adopt a mantra that would keep you positive every day. Tell yourself that things will be better. Remind yourself that nothing will ever make you feel bad, and that you can get through the day without letting negativity affect you.
13 Do nice things for other people.
There is nothing more fulfilling than being appreciated and recognized by people for doing things for them. When you do things for other people especially when they do not ask you to do it, and you just initiated to do it for them, you will feel so much better as you know that people are also grateful for having someone as thoughtful, considerate and generous as you are in their lives.
14 Reinforce your own self-worth.
To stay away from negativity, you have to reinforce your own self-worth. Remember that you are an amazingly strong person, and that you can get through everything. You have to remind yourself that you, just like everyone else, are worthy of the best things life could offer.
15 Be grateful for the love and good times you got to experience.
Just like finding the things you are thankful for, never forget to actually be grateful for them and learn to appreciate them for simply existing in your life. Be grateful that you get to live with the people you love, that you get to eat at least three times a day, that you get to wear beautiful clothes, and travel to awesome places and that you get to experience all the beautiful things in life despite the heartbreak you’ve just been through.
Always think of the positive and focus on your own happiness. An LDR breakup is difficult to deal with, but it does not mean you cannot get through it. You also have to remember that sometimes, the pain you feel is just on your mind. Sometimes you get so hung up on your emotions and forget that things may become superficial, and then one day, when you’re over everything, you will realize that it was actually a good thing that you let go of your LDR.