Anyone in a long distance relationship understands the struggle of the average LDR misconceptions. Some people just can’t understand how two people in love can live miles and miles apart, or, how two people could love each other without even meeting in person.
It’s okay if people don’t understand. The reality is that unless you are in or have been in a long distance relationship, you can’t understand what it’s like for couples that are, or understand the numerous reasons long distance relationships can occur.
That said, there are sometimes some hurtful misconceptions that those people who don’t understand will express.
It can be easy to freak out and get defensive when you hear some of the negative LDR stereotypes, that is because in the end, anyone in a long distance relationship is probably very passionate about it.
There’s a way to react to the negativity without lashing out though! We’ve all heard them, but here’s three of the most ridiculous misconceptions out there and how you can respond to them!
1. “Wow, she/he must really just want a boyfriend/girlfriend”
This one is infuriating, because yes, the ONLY reason somebody could possibly be in a long distance relationship is they are that desperate for a boyfriend or girlfriend. Long distance relationships can sprout from SO MANY different scenarios (met in person and got pulled apart, met online, military, etc) but they all have the common bond that two people fell in love, or interest sparked.
What should your response be? Just say the truth, whatever the truth for you is. Explain your story or what attracted you to your long distance partner. It’s a win-win, you get to brag about your significant other and you also get to inform somebody about long distance relationships.
2. “You know they have someone on the side”
Any LDR couple has bound to have heard this one once or twice, or many times. For some reason it’s really difficult for some non LDR couples to understand how two people could live far away from each other and not cheat.
This idea is insane, especially because it implies that a conventional (non LDR) couple couldn’t cheat or they don’t because there is no distance involved. Sure, it happens, but it is a grossly wrong stereotype of LDR couples. If a couple is really in love, distance is no death sentence to fidelity.
So how do you respond to this? Well, it may be better to back down in this situation. The fidelity between you and your partner is between you and your partner. It is so frustrating when people assume you’re cheating or you’re being cheated on, however don’t waste your breath in fighting it. As long as you and your SO know the truth, then all is okay.
3. “Man, how much could you actually love someone if you’re willing to live so far away?”
You know your reasoning for being in a LDR and that’s all that matters. There’s a million and one completely legitimate reasons for a relationship being long distance and I would venture to say non of them include “I don’t actually love my boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé/etc”.
Whether your reasoning for distance is due to finances, education, work, etc, life sometimes requires couples to spend time apart, and nothing about that fact means that you love them (or they love you) any less!
This one is tricky to respond to because in the end we all have our reasons. To answer this, just be truthful, and then explain what steps you’re taking to close the distance. Talk about why distance is necessary right now, and how you plan to close it in the future!
Hearing people say things like this can be hurtful, but having confidence in yourself and your relationship can allow you to push past the misconceptions and be happy.
One thing to remember though is not everyone can/will understand why you choose to be in a long distance relationship, and it’s not your job to sway them. You also aren’t obligated to explain yourself or your situation to anybody!
Your only job is to remember that what you have is special, and you don’t need anyone’s approval.