The precious visits for long distance couples are the shining stars of the relationship and often serve as milestones for the couple. But no matter how much you plan for or envision the visit in your mind, there inevitably will be letdowns. Here’s how to make the most of your visits, even when they don’t go as planned.
Embrace the awkward.
No matter how much you feel you know each other and can’t wait to hold each other, there might be a period of awkwardness when you’re reunited. You’re simply not used to being in each other’s presence and it’s all of a sudden weird to be this close to their eyes.
It’s not as easy to say the sweet things you usually quickly send as texts when you’re right there in front of each other. You may feel a little exposed, and that’s okay! Embrace the awkward. Acknowledge it and move on. It will go away eventually and you’ll be able to pick up where you left off.
Lower your expectations.
Maybe you imagined him sweeping you up in his arms and kissing you while you twirl in the airport. Instead, you got a text saying “Let me know when you’ve got your bag and I’ll swing around to pick you up.”
Perhaps you expected an all-night discussion followed by watching the sunrise while drinking coffee together. Instead, he has a headache and apologetically excuses himself at 10 o’clock leaving you wide awake and disappointed. Situations like these are bound to happen, especially early in the relationship.
Expectations may be a little high or even unrealistic when it comes to visiting each other. Just remember, it doesn’t have to be a perfect weekend. It probably won’t be. If you are truly disappointed about something, talk about it. A lot of anticipation has gone into this moment and emotions can run high. Give each other some grace and look at it from the big picture. If you’re learning about each other, then your relationship is moving in the right direction. These are just growing pains and will probably end up serving you in the future.
Be in the moment.
It’s very easy to lament your partner’s departure as soon as they arrive, especially if it’s a short visit. Don’t let yourself be sad while you’re together. Push those thoughts out of your mind and be in the moment. You’ve been counting down the days until it’s arrival, now it’s time to savor the time you have together.
Try to have a lot of good experiences together, make memories. Balance your trip – go out sometimes, but stay in too. You often remember the quiet moments more than the epic ones. Do something neither of you have done. Do something that one of you loves and the other hasn’t experienced.
When it gets closer to the end of the trip, then you can allow yourself to grieve. Goodbyes are just another part of long distance relationships and you want to make sure you say goodbye in a healthy way. But wait until the appropriate time. That way you won’t waste the precious togetherness you have.
Consider these ways of making the most of your visits together and you’ll have enough memories to keep you talking until the next visit!