Long Distance Relationships can be the most rewarding relationships out there while simultaneously also being the most difficult.
There so much to worry about! So many things that could go wrong. And even though you and that someone really love each other, it can be easy to fall into something that harms your relationship.
While we know that LDR couples succeed all the time (check out this article where we highlight 20 couples who successfully closed the distance) you’re still in the race to keep your relationship strong and finish the distance forever.
What can you do to make a difficult situation better? Don’t worry; we’ve got you covered!
Here’s 5 tips to help you and your loved make your Long Distance relationship work better for the both of you.
There is so much negative media about long distance relationships. Many people will be quick to tell you how LDRs don’t work and how they only lead to divorce, true separation or a breakup.
Don’t let anyone else influence the way you feel about your relationship. Your view is the only one that matters. It is so very important that you keep a positive attitude about your relationship if you are going to successfully maintain it across a large distance.
Be Truthful and don’t keep secrets.
You are already separated from the person you love and that is hard enough. Why make things anymore difficult by keeping things from one another? Not only will doing this make your relationship feel awkward, but it can also cause a lot of suspicion, paranoia and jealousy.
Sharing your insecurities with one another as well as the details about events, people or interactions you face in your life is an important part of staying close and connected. It can mean the life or death of your relationship.
It’s normal to experience loneliness from time to time, but you can keep yourself from acting on it and give your loved one the confidence that you won’t by disclosing your feelings and giving lots of details about your life.
Set goals for the future.
Know that your relationship won’t stay this way forever. Set goals together and have an open discussion about where your relationship is headed. Where do you see yourselves in one year? Two years? 5 years? When do you each expect the distance of your relationship to be closed? What are you each doing to meet those goals?
Setting milestones and discussing the ways you are both working to come together can make a difficult relationship easier to deal with. Sharing goals with your loved one is a major key that will lead to a happy relationship. When you share and talk about goals it reminds each of you that you’re working as a team and each want your relationship to work.
Be there for one other, even when it’s hard.
Support is crucial to the success of an LDR. Unexpected things can happen. You could have a family loss, or suddenly become seriously ill. Your partner could suddenly become overcome with anxiety about the relationship, or could start to feel jealous. It’s very important for each of you to feel that the other person is there for you and will comfort and support you even when things get dire, difficult or even when your own fears may cause you to be unreasonable.
It can be hard to comfort someone when your have your own fears, stresses, deadlines or insecurities to face with. But comfort and support are major things that can make or break your LDR. You can’t have a successful relationship without it.
You may be separated, but romance is still a really important part of your relationship. When you are far apart and visits are scarce it becomes vital to remind your other half of how much they really do mean to you.
It can be easy to forget when there’s a huge gap of space between you physically. Surprise your loved with a handwritten letter or a very special “just because” gift. Keep each other feeling loved and and happy.
These are our tips, what are yours? LDR conquerors, we know you’re out there! What has helped you successfully maintain your LDR?
My boyfriend also has a diicffult time talking. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and while we are not a long-distance couple yet (he’s joining the military) right now he’s in university so I only see him once a week or sometimes even once every 2 weeks. We try to talk on the phone, but our conversations are boring. I don’t want to talk about what groceries he bought from the store that night. So I try to schedule times when we are to discuss important issues. In the past I have e-mailed him my concerns that I feel we need to talk about. That way he has an idea what it is that I need to talk with him about and he has a chance to think about what he wants to say. Sometimes I think guys need time to come up with answers (they’re not as quick on the ball as women are). But so far, we haven’t been able to discuss anything important over the phone. We wait until we are face to face. This is a huge concern for me since all long distance relationships require communication. If you can’t talk openly and have meaningful conversations with one another, a long distance relationship will NOT last. Good luck.
Life is often boring. If you don’t want to talk about those things… you may need to re-evaluate what you think a relationship is.
Alexis, I think the point here is to have meaningful conversations. Yes, life can be very often boring, but couples (or two friends, or parents and their children–heck, *any* sort of relationship) should be able to have deeper communication beyond grocery lists to keep that relationship healthy… And this is especially important in LDRs, in which couples may absolutely need to accomplish these sorts of conversations over Skype and/or phone.