The ABCs of Healthy LDRs

by LDR Mag
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A for Appreciation: Remember to appreciate the fact that someone loves you enough to endure a vast amount of distance. In a world where relationships are mostly physical in nature and most people wouldn’t dare to try a long distance one, you have someone brave enough to continue to bond with you in the absence of that physical quality. And you in turn are being brave as well. Carry this appreciation throughout your relationship and nothing will cause it to crumble!

B for Belief: Believe that your relationship will thrive, that the distance will end and that everything you and partner want together will happen. Having strong belief is a powerful tool to have in your arsenal. It can save your relationship when things tough, when the distance starts to become too much or when things are just looking impossible. The belief that everything WILL work out in the end will be the lifeline that keeps you afloat & prompts you to keep fighting.

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C for Communication: Communication is key in staying close in your LDR. Of all the senses we miss out on in our relationships, hearing is the one that we will use most often. Use it. Talk often & about anything at all. Stay close in that way so that you and your partner do not drift apart. The more you talk, express and share the close you’ll feel to one another.

D for Dependability: Be dependable despite the distance. It is so easy to get caught up in your individual lives and schedules, but being dependable is absolutely essential to succeeding in your LDR. If you arrange to have dinner dates from a distance or a movie night synchronized across 1000 miles –make sure you keep those appointments & don’t let your partner down. The fastest way to break down a long distance relationship is to actively show your partner that they can’t trust you even in small things like a simple date or phone call that you didn’t keep.

E for Excitement: A little excitement doesn’t hurt now and then! It’s definitely a great way to spice up your relationship routine. Do something new and different! Maybe you’ve never had a webcam date together or you’ve never talked about something super embarrassing or personal. Don’t run from those scenarios because they make you uncomfortable. Embracing those things together will make your relationship more exciting & bring you both much closer.

F for Flirtation: Just because you’re miles apart doesn’t mean you can’t flirt with one another. It’s absolutely essential to keep that special spark alive between you and your partner. Send each other flirty texts, or some tactfully ‘seductive’ photos. Send your partner your perfume or cologne or a shirt that you wear that has your scent all over it. Do whatever you can to let your partner know that you still love and want them in every way -despite the distance.

G for Goals: Talk about and develop your life goals together. Goals are actually a major part of LDRs. You will make and complete several goals in the course of the relationship; the goal of visiting together, the goal of closing the distance, the goal of marriage or the goal moving in together. Talk about those goals! Express what you both would like out of the relationship and out of life. Knowing what you both want will help to ensure that your relationship succeeds.

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H is for Humor: Laughter is a wonderful glue that can truly bond you and your partner together. It can mend the wounds of a fight and make the distance completely disappear. There is no distance when you are engulfed in the joy of laughter together. In healthy relationships, long distance couples are able to laugh together, see the fun and silliness in their struggles and, respectfully, in each other. Take the time to inject some humor into your relationship and see how much closer you’ll both feel to each other.

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I is for Interest: Take an interest in the things your partner likes to do and enjoys. Being long distance makes it harder to find common ground sometimes. Taking an interest in what your partner does can really help you both bond together. Take for instance video games; It doesn’t mean that you have to like them or that you have to play them together every single day but your partner will certainly appreciate you trying out something that they love! Wouldn’t you like your partner to do the same for you?

J is for Joy: Maintain joy & happiness in your relationship. It can be so easy to look at all the things that you don’t have (your partner near you) or can’t do together. Don’t focus on those things! Focus on the things that bring you and your partner joy in relationship and keep doing them together!

K is for Kindness: Remember to be kind to one another. Distance presents the challenge of not always being able to interpret one anothers actions or expressions in the right way. Especially if you communicate primarily through text or chat, so many things can get ‘lost in translation’ so to speak. But if you and your partner make it habit to always be kind to one another your first instincts will not be to assume the worst of one another, it will be the opposite. You’ll both assume the best because the track record you’ll both have is one of kindness.

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L is for Love: Of course! Remember to love one another unconditionally even when the worst hardships arrive. Do things for one another that will remind you both that your love has been strong enough to endure things that other couples could never dream of enduring. EXPRESS your love to one another however you can. Tell your partner “I love you” today.

M is for Motivated: Stay motivated! Don’t give up or succumb to negative thoughts about your relationship. Use each and every day as a way to get one step closer to your goal of being together. If you don’t stay motivated & positive, no one will do so for you.

N is for Nurture: Nurture your partner and your relationship. Do not get into a sing-song habit of doing the same things over and over without much though. Don’t go into relationship autopilot. Every successful relationship that ever was required lots of time, effort and energy. Do not mistake the distance as an excuse to be lax. If anything, distance makes you work HARDER for your love.

O is for Overlook: There will times in your relationship when you will not see eye to eye, or when your partner does something that really burns you up. Sometimes its big things and sometimes it’s little things that can put a drain on the joy of your relationship. Remember that it’s okay to overlook the offenses of your partner sometimes & just be forgiving because you love them. Keeping account for every little error is no good for any relationship.

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P is for Patience: Patience is a virtue, especially in an LDR. You will spend a lot of time waiting; Waiting to visit each other, waiting to be together, waiting in airports, bus stations and so on. You definitely both need to have some degree of patience to be able to survive all the waiting you will inevitable have to endure together. But that’s just it –you’re not waiting alone, you’re waiting together. Remember that and try your best to remain patient together.

Q is for Quality Time: Set aside some time to spend together. This is vital! If you and your partner have no way to connect, no way to feel close and no time to spend ‘together’ in some way your relationship will not thrive. Quality time can be anything from reading a book together over the phone, to having a video chat together and seeing one another’s smiling faces. Just be sure to spend any time at all, whenever you can, together.

R is for Respect: An LDR can be taxing on both partners, so the more patient and respectful you are towards each other’s needs and desires, the more fluid your relationship will become. It is also very important to respect one another’s fears and insecurities. Everyone is different and can feel differently about things that other people might have no issue with. Don’t exploit those insecurities –respect them.

S is for Support: You may not be there in the flesh to help, hold and comfort your partner but you can offer them support no matter where you are both located. Never underestimate the power of emotional support.

T is for Trust: In a Long Distance Relationship, this is extremely important. You two have to learn to seriously trust each other because if you don’t, you could easily poison your relationship with jealousy, fears or doubts. Without trust your relationship can start to “rust.”

U is for United: You and your partner are in this together and you will both have to depend on each other to make your relationship last. There will be hard times but if you truly want to make the distance end, you have to work together to get through all the trials ahead of you. Remember, you are a team!

V is for Veracity: Veracity is defined as “Habitual Truthfulness” or someone who is known for being truthful. It is easy to lie to your partner when you are aware that they’d have no way of finding out that you did in fact lie to them. But the truth always comes out in the end –whether it be years down the line or just days later. You don’t want to risk your partner’s trust and the solidity of the relationship that way. Be as trustworthy and honest to your partner as you would like them to be to you. A solid relationship can never be founded on dishonesty.

W is for Wonder: Wonder together. Seek ideas for new and interesting things to do as a couple together –both now and when you are together. Having something to look forward to doing together makes your relationship feel like it has a real chance to succeed. Because of course, it will succeed!

Which of these “ABCs” do you apply in your own relationship?

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