When being apart becomes ‘too much’

by LDR Mag
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The holiday season is upon us, the time of year when families and friends all gather together to enjoy the company of one another. Countless holiday cheer commercials air on the television and supermarkets play their endless loops of festive music. Everyone seems to be in wonderful spirits.

It might be hard to believe that anyone could feel down during such times, but for many long distance couples these winter months are a constant reminder of what they don’t have; Their loved one beside them.

One Reddit user confessed:

It’s been 14 months since I met the love of my life and we haven’t been able to meet. She and I both hoped for a visit this Christmas, but I don’t have enough money to buy a plane ticket. I don’t know how to tell her without breaking her heart. I don’t want her to cry, I want to take away her sadness and loneliness. I want to make things better but I can’t afford it.

It’s hard when the one thing you want is halfway around the country or even the world. Whether the restraint is time, money, health or some other situation, it can start to feel like everyone else in the world has access to their special someone but you.

How to deal with it

Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. While many LDR couples are getting the opportunity to visit with their significant others, there are many others just like you who aren’t. With that in mind, the first step towards dealing with the new seasonal strain on your separation is to realize that it’s okay to be upset about it.

Long distance relationships are hard, there are sacrifices that are going to have to be made and sometimes things just don’t work out the way that we plan. Consider it a badge of honor to deal with these disappointments in the name of love, vs a horrible burden. When you deal with hurdles like this, you prove that your love is stronger than the obstacle.

You might think; “well that’s easy to say, but it’s not so easy when you have feelings invested in those plans (or lack thereof).” And you’d be right. Nobody ever said it wouldn’t be hard! However attitude is everything, and taking on the right view of your situation can make it that much easier to deal with.

Look at the bigger picture. You may not be able to visit one another this time, but you eventually and undoubtedly will. And for every time your plans fall through, the more determined you will both be to make the next visit happen. In the long run, you have someone who loves you and is willing to wait through both time and distance for you. Look forward to that time when you finally close the distance and these little bumps on the road won’t be such an awful thing to look back on.

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Things you can do together

Does it feel like you’re both missing one another more than usual? Try a few of our suggestions below. They can help to reduce some of those feelings of longing by keeping your minds on what you can do together and not on what you can’t do.

Share stories together. Every month or season of the year is full of old memories from years past. Relating and sharing those stories is a way to connect and feel closer to one another. It might sound simple to you, but there’s a reason storytelling has been popular for so long of a time. It’s really one of the best ways to connect with other people and trust us, you’ll definitely feel a lot closer.

Write a short story. Can’t be together? How about writing a short story of what you would do if you were able to be together? It can be logical or illogical, scientific or fantastical; whatever you desire. While it may not take away the disappointment of not being ‘there’ for each other -it can help you to put a positive spin on an otherwise disappointing situation.

Video chat. We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again; Video chatting is a truly great way to connect. Even if you already video chat often, take the opportunity to do something different. Spice it up with a date or a puppet show or even a game of charades. Try to make happy memories together that will help to blur out the distance. If you’ve never had a video chat before, this would be a great opportunity to start!

If all else fails, remember: “Good things are worth waiting for”

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