We all have our own doubts and fears when it comes to anything in life, especially when it comes to love or dating. You might have had bad experiences before or have witnessed relationships around you failing one by one. Being in love is scary even if it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. By giving your heart out to another person, you are willingly putting yourself in a very vulnerable position.
Those of us in long distance relationships know all too well that we don’t just have the common fears that close distance relationships have. We have an intensified version of those common fears plus some that are exclusive to us in long distance relationships.
Overcoming these unnecessary fears is definitely not an easy task, so we’re here to give you helpful advice on how to handle the 5 most common fears you have in your long distance relationship:
You’re probably rolling your eyes as you see that this fear is listed first. Being afraid of your significant other cheating is the most obvious and the most annoying fear to admit you have since cheating is the biggest stigma about long distance relationships.
Many people have told you to be careful of your significant other being unfaithful since you are miles away from them and you can’t be 100% certain of what your significant other could be doing behind the screen. And as frustrating as it is to admit it, they’re right about one thing- you really can’t be totally sure of what they could be doing. Your significant other could be looking for physical or sexual intimacy that you can’t give them in your long distance relationship from other potential love interests. Or they could have gotten bored of you and found someone better that is closer to them than you are.
However, you know in your heart that they wouldn’t do any of those things. The fear of being cheated on stems from your own insecurity. Therefore, in order to overcome this fear, the first and most foremost thing you have to do is to learn to love yourself. Remind yourself that you’re good enough. Besides, they wouldn’t be with you in the first place if they didn’t think that you were amazing, right? They’re willing to go through the awful pain of distance just to be with you!
2) The future
Long distance relationships require an end plan. That end plan, of course, involves closing the distance and that for a lot of long distance couples is nerve-racking especially for those of us that have partners that live in different countries or even different continents. You will sometimes find yourself drowning in anxiety over if closing the distance is even possible. You ask questions like who will move to where and how? Are you or your partner ready to leave everything behind such as family and friends to start a new life? Will you two even have enough money to make it happen?
Uncertainty doesn’t even have to extend that far into the future. You can fear that someday you’ll drift apart or all of a sudden the internet blows up and you won’t ever be able to communicate with them ever again.
The best thing you can do is to talk about it with your significant other and get reassurance. Remember that you’re not alone in this and you both will work together to find a way to reach your end goals. Believe in your relationship.
Also, an internet apocalypse is very unlikely to happen, so you can rest your head tonight.
3) Missing out
Unfortunately, plane tickets cost an arm and a leg, so you won’t be able to visit them all the time. It’s a pretty awful feeling knowing that you can’t make it to celebrations that mean a lot to you or your significant other such as birthdays, Christmas, prom, their graduation or even a work promotion. It doesn’t even have to be a special event. You can feel a little down thinking that you aren’t there with them to experience something simple such as going out with them to eat pizza on a Friday night.
Anytime you have the fear of missing out, remember that there will be a day where you both won’t miss a thing and will be able to do everything together that you couldn’t do before. Make the best out of your long distance situation right now such as improvising on special events like their birthday and Christmas by having unique and romantic Skype dates or sending gifts through the mail. The whole wait until the day you can finally close the distance will also make you both so much more appreciative of the littlest things that other couples overlook.
4) Not being able to be there for them
It’s difficult to comfort your significant other from a distance when they are going through a tough time and are feeling down. However, most times just trying your hardest to be there for them via text or call is more than enough for them. But what were to happen if your significant other gets caught in an accident or becomes ill? It’s utterly unbearable to think about.
Unfortunately, you will never get over the fear of your loved ones such as your significant other possibly getting hurt. All you can do is be prepared for the worse and make sure you ask your significant other for the contact information of people such as their family members or friends that you could call up if anything bad were to happen to them.
5) People not approving of your relationship
Let’s face it. Long distance relationships still have a bad reputation especially those that started online. There will be people close to you that won’t approve of your relationship. You might be sitting there right now afraid of coming out to your parents and telling them that you’re in a long distance relationship. Since most parents lived in a generation that wasn’t open to online dating, they will probably think that everyone online is out to get you and will be very skeptical or even angry about your relationship.
It’s important to first be understanding of where these people are coming from to cure your fear. For example, your parents just want to protect you. The initial reaction might not be pleasant, but over time as you continue to make an effort to slowly introduce them to your significant other and proving to them that they are not a bad person, they’ll (hopefully) come around. But all in all, don’t be afraid about what others think about your relationship. You don’t need their approval in order to be happy.