Fear. Terror. Panic. Fright.
An emotion that causes you to feel unsure, uncertain and unsafe in any given situation. A feeling that can rock you to your core and make you question things you once saw as logical, safe and secure.
In a long distance relationship, fear comes with the territory. Military spouses fear never seeing their loved one again. College couples fear that someone will sweep their long distance love off their feet while they’re away. Online couples fear that their S/O may not like them or they may not ‘click’ when they finally meet and many long distance couples fear that their spouse will cheat on them emotionally or physically while they are away.
In a long distance relationship, fear just comes with the territory.
So how do you deal with fear that comes with the inherent uncertainty that is a long distance relationship? The reality is you can either let fear cripple you, or you can find a way to conquer it and work it out.
Some people are very good at working their fears out, while others are not. Let’s take a look at some real long distance bloggers who have shared their own fears about their long distance relationship and how they were able to conquer them.
When I sat and thought about the biggest fears within my LDR, the first one that cropped up was ‘What if he gets bored?’
We are in constant touch with each other.. Skype, Viber, Text, Phone calls and even the odd card or present through the post.. but there is only so much connect you can have via these methods.
I know we aren’t that far apart in miles either, but with him working mainly the nights and me working the days.. there are times we only get to talk for 30 minutes.. and its these times I wonder.
Kenny came home in January of 2014. He had been deployed, touched down in America and then drove straight from Omaha, Nebraska so that he could make it to Dallas, Texas by the afternoon/early evening of January 1st, my birthday. We weren’t even dating yet, we were just exclusively not seeing other people.
He had enough leave saved up that he stayed the entire month. We picked up right where we left off, no time or distance had separated us. As more days passed and I spent every January Day with him, the looming idea of him leaving for Omaha began to occupy my mind more and more.
That was a profound moment in our relationship for me. Kenny, the sailor of my soul, knew that I wasn’t crying out of sadness from him leaving but that I was tore up from fear.
Read about how Cassie dealt with the fear of not being able to connect with her S/O once they were together again
When I started dating Jade, I was genuinely scared that things wouldn’t work out and our relationship would be a wasted one. Yet I knew I had to try since I had found a guy who I synced perfectly with, better than with anyone else before. In the beginning, I let myself soak in the feeling of falling in love.
Falling is the scariest part, it feels never-ending and so overwhelming. You still don’t entirely know what you are doing and where you will land. But still, I was also covered in roses and loved the butterflies dancing in my stomach.
Anna battled many fears: her S/O finding someone else, closing the distance and having to build her life all over again
When I first started my own LDR, I had all these irrational fears; will he cheat on me? Will he find someone closer to home? Will he grow tired of the distance? Will he meet someone prettier, smarter, nicer, and more successful? And honestly, they got me nowhere.
After being in my relationship for almost a year I have learned that these fears were nothing more than irrational and I was stressing myself out for no reason.
Figuring this all out took me some time so I wanted to share with you what has helped me in my long distance relationship to overcome my fears.
I, like any normal human being, have my fair share of fears. When my relationship first entered the transition from a “normal” relationship to long-distance my mind was racing with anxiety. If you could look into my thoughts you would think I was experiencing the apocalypse. For me, the stress of the unknown caused me to create and cling to several new fears, without any justification.
My mind traced through each “what if” scenario as if they were all guaranteed to happen in my LDR. What if we don’t talk enough and we lose our connection? What if he finds a new girl when he moves? What if he cheats on me? While for some people these may be reasonable questions, it was definitely not the case with my relationship.
Find out how Christie was able to deal with the uncertainty of many “what if” scenarios about her relationship
Sometimes reading about how others dealt with fears similar to our own can help us to resolve our own fears and find solutions to problems that we just couldn’t see before. Did any of the posts, tips and experiences of these bloggers help you out? Hopefully they did!
If you’d like to read more tips and experiences on how other real long distance couples were able to conquer their fears, you can find even more valuable tips and experiences from even more long distance bloggers by clicking the image on the right.
And if you’d like to share your own experience dealing with fears, you can do so by leaving a comment & sharing your own valuable tips with us!