Closing the distance is the end goal for every long distance couple. We spend years working up to that pivotal moment when we can finally get rid of the distance between us for good and finally just be together. No more planes, trains or buses just to hug or kiss or hold hands. Everything you want is now within arm’s reach.
But what can you expect to happen after you close the distance? Now that you are no longer LDR, the dynamics of your relationship are bound to change. So what do you have to look forward to?
Your Life is Now Shared
Often times LDR couples who close the distance go from being around each other hardly at all to being smack dab in each other’s faces; All the time. That can be a really big transition especially if you close the distance drastically or all at once.
You’re suddenly thrust from a relationship that was once very leisurely, open and full of individual freedoms into a new relationship where you may rely on each other heavily. This is even more the case if you decide to move in together.
Some people love this new set of circumstances and can’t get enough of being around one another, but there are some people who may miss the freedoms that came with having a girl or guy who lived far away.
You may no longer be able to just zip off to hang out with your friends, or do other things you’ve become accustomed to doing without consulting or thinking about your s/o. You now share your life with someone who is very real and very close. This is an adjustment for everyone involved, but don’t worry –you’ll get used to it.
Yes This is Really Happening
Remember the first time you were able to visit after months of being apart? Or maybe the first time you met ever, if you happened to meet your spouse through friends or online. For some of us, those meetings were pretty awkward. It may even have taken the more awkward among us a few moments, minutes or hours to adjust to the fact that the person we love was right there in front of us in the flesh.
When closing the distance, you’ll have a lot more moments like that; those “omg is this really happening” moments and then some very awkward, downright uncomfortable moments as well. It’s all a natural part of readjusting.
I once talked to a friend who survived and ended her long distance relationship. She told me the most exciting story about waking up and whacking her then boyfriend in the face. Yeah, that happened.
Seems she was so used to sleeping alone after months of being away from him that when they finally shared a bed together, she in her sleep deprived state forgot that they had in fact closed the distance and basically assumed the worst. It’s now become one of her most treasured and most talked about memories.
See? It’s all a normal part of readjusting. I’m sure you’ll make plenty of awkward memories like this as well.
All Kinds of New Experiences
Whether you’re moving for them or they’re moving to you, prepare to experience so many new things together. You’ll encourage each other to make new friends, explore new places, and try new foods. Everything will be wonderful, exciting and new!
But new can also be a little scary; especially if one of you is leaving the comforts of home behind. Some people experience culture shock when moving to a new location, country or even city. Culture shock can even happen when the happy couple is of different ethnicities or cultures.
Everyone deals with change differently, but it’s definitely going to require a lot of patience, trust and understanding from both of you to get through the humps that will inevitably come with so much change.
One of you is probably going to be thousands or hundreds of miles away from everything you know. You’ll have to share your friends/family with them and be their best friend when they’re missing the comforts of home. New experiences are fun, but they’re also very taxing. It’s important to be understanding if one of you is overwhelmed by all of the changes.
You Have to Talk Face to Face
No more computer or smartphone screens to hide behind. It’s one thing to be an open communicator from far away, but it’s something entirely different to continue that good record of communication when you’re together.
It can be very, very hard to shift from talking to someone through your phone or computer 80% of the time to now having to communicate with them in a meaningful way face to face.
It takes more time to talk physically than it does to type up a quick response in an email, text or IM. Not to mention that some things are easier said from far away and harder to say when you’re right there in front of someone.
No one says you have to stop texting/emailing/IMing each other just because you’re together. Keep sending the romantic messages that kept you going during the time that you were apart; schedule time to just talk like you probably scheduled phone calls.
A person can feel really lonely when they go from talking to you at any odd hour to barely having conversations at all because; life. Don’t let being together physically fool you into thinking you don’t have to spend the effort communicating anymore. It’s still important!
You Both Have Flaws Now
Did you know that 82% of LDR couples that close the distance end up breaking up?* That’s right. Closing the distance is not the end, it’s the beginning! It takes work to keep the relationship alive even after meeting that awesome goal and you want to be part of the 28% that make it.
One of the biggest things that cause break ups in LDRs is the fact that it’s easy to idealize your partner when you don’t have to deal with their random annoyances every day. It easy to see someone as being perfect for you when they’re picking and choosing what photos they send or what words they say to you very carefully.
Closing the distance you’re both instantly and suddenly exposed to all the flaws you don’t see on the daily basis. Sure you may have seen some flaws when visiting each other, but it’s much easier to be on your best behavior for a temporary visit than it is for an extended, possibly permanent amount of time.
It’s important to realize that absolutely no one is perfect. We all have flaws and being close together now, you will definitely see those flaws –from every different angle. Be willing to accept that there will be things that annoy you about one another and then do your best to work through those things together. If you really love someone, you’ll be willing to bend.
It’ll Take Some Getting Used to
Don’t expect to instantly fall into the perfect new close-distanced relationship together. Odds are that won’t happen. It’s going to take some real getting used to! You can start to really learn a lot more about your S/O when you can actually spend a lot of time with them in person. That can mean you’ll have to make some serious readjustments in the way you view each other and your relationship.
Just try to remember why you fell in love in the first place, and don’t give up on each other. If you stick it out and bend with the new changes you’ll experience, you can have a truly awesome relationship even after the distance is closed!
Have you closed the distance? What advice would you give to those who would like to follow in your steps? Leave your own suggestions in the comments section!
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