Long-distance relationships can be tough, and if you’re in one, you probably have a lot of questions about long distance relationships. How do you keep the spark alive? How often should you talk? Can LDRs really work, or are they just too difficult? Whether you’re just starting out or have been doing the long-distance thing for a while, this FAQ covers everything you need to know—from communication and trust to visiting each other and eventually closing the distance.
What Does LDR Stand For?
LDR stands for Long-Distance Relationship. Pretty simple.
For more info on LDR-related terms and phrases, check out the LDR Community Terminology Page.
What is a Long-Distance Relationship?
A long-distance relationship (LDR) is any relationship where two people are separated by a significant distance. That distance could be across cities, states, or even countries, and there are all kinds of reasons why it happens—military service, college, work, or even medical needs.
LDRs aren’t just romantic. Families and friends can have long-distance relationships too. But when people talk about LDRs, they’re usually referring to romantic relationships, since those tend to be the ones people struggle with the most.
Isn’t an LDR the Same as an Online Relationship?
Nope. An online relationship is just one type of long-distance relationship. It happens when two people meet online and continue their relationship through the same platform—texting, video calls, social media, or gaming.
But not all long-distance relationships start online. Some couples begin in person before distance gets in the way. Others might have met through mutual friends, school, or work before circumstances took them to different places.
So while every online relationship is a long-distance relationship, not every long-distance relationship is an online relationship.
How do you define a long-distance relationship?
A long-distance relationship (LDR) is any relationship where two people are physically apart for a significant period of time. There’s no exact distance that makes it “official,” but if seeing each other regularly takes extra effort—whether that’s hours of driving, plane tickets, or navigating time zones—then you’re in an LDR.
How common are long distance relationships?
LDRs are becoming increasingly common. As of 2024, about 14 million people in the United States consider themselves to be in a long-distance relationship. Of these, around 3.75 million are married couples making their relationship work from a distance. Additionally, 75% of engaged couples have been in an LDR at some point during their relationship, and 10% of all marriages in the U.S. actually started out as long-distance.
Why would anyone choose to be in a Romantic LDR?
Most couples don’t set out to be in a long-distance relationship, it just happens. A new job, school, family obligations, or unexpected life changes can put miles between two people who never planned on being apart. But instead of walking away, they choose to hold on, believing the separation is only temporary and worth enduring for the sake of the relationship.
While most LDR couples see the distance as a phase that will eventually end, a small number intentionally choose to live apart long-term. These Living Together Apart couples maintain committed relationships while continuing to live in different places indefinitely. However, this is far less common. In the vast majority of cases, couples in long-distance relationships are working toward a future where they can close the gap, whether that’s in a few months or several years down the line.
How far apart do you have to be for it to count as an LDR?
There’s no set rule. Some couples live a few hours apart but can only see each other on weekends, while others are in completely different countries and might only meet once or twice a year. What really makes an LDR is the effort it takes to stay connected despite the distance.
Do LDRs really work, or are they doomed to fail?
They absolutely can work, but they take commitment, trust, and effort. Studies show that LDR couples can be just as happy and stable as couples who live close together, sometimes even more so. The key? Communication, trust, and having a plan for the future.
How long do most long-distance relationships last?
It depends. Some LDRs only last a few months before couples reunite, while others go on for years. A lot of couples aim for 2-3 years max before closing the distance, but some make it work for much longer.
At what point should an LDR end?
If the relationship feels one-sided, trust is gone, or there’s no plan to eventually be together in the same place, it might be time to re-evaluate. LDRs are tough, and if one or both of you are no longer happy, it’s okay to move on.
Are LDRs more common now than they used to be?
Yes! With online dating, remote work, and international travel, more people than ever are in long-distance relationships. In fact, research shows that millions of people are currently in an LDR, and many marriages started long-distance.
What Types of LDRs Are There?
There are many types of long-distance relationships, and they don’t all look the same. But if we break them down, they usually fall into one of these three categories:
- Familial Relationships – Sometimes, family members end up living far apart because of work, school, or just life taking them in different directions. Parents and children, siblings, or even extended family members may go long periods without seeing each other, but that doesn’t mean the relationship fades. Phone calls, video chats, and the occasional visit help keep the bond strong.
- Friendships – Not all friendships stay local. Some friends grow up together and move away, others meet online and never live in the same place to begin with. But that doesn’t mean the friendship has to end. With all the ways to stay connected now, long-distance friendships can be just as real and meaningful as the ones where you see each other every day.
- Romantic Relationships – This is the type of LDR most people think of first. Maybe a couple started out in the same place, but work, school, or family obligations forced them apart. Maybe they met online or while traveling. Either way, they’re making it work across the distance. Some LDR couples are just waiting for the right time to close the gap, while a small number actually choose to stay apart long-term (Living Together Apart couples).
Of course, these categories aren’t set in stone. Some relationships overlap—some friendships feel like family, and some romantic relationships start as friendships. The one thing all LDRs have in common? The people involved are willing to put in the effort to stay connected, no matter how many miles are between them.
For more details on specific types of long-distance relationships, check out our article, “The Various Types of LD Relationships.”
How often should we talk in an LDR?
There’s no perfect amount, but consistency is key. Some couples check in every day, while others do longer calls a few times a week. The important thing is finding a balance that works for both of you without feeling forced or overwhelming.
What’s the best way to stay connected in a long-distance relationship?
Mix it up! Texts, voice notes, video calls, surprise letters, online games, shared playlists—anything that keeps you involved in each other’s lives. It’s not about how often you talk but how meaningful your interactions are.
How can we keep the romance alive when we’re so far apart?
Be intentional. Plan virtual dates, send care packages, write love letters, or even watch movies together online. Small, thoughtful gestures go a long way in keeping the connection strong.
What do we do if time zones make communication difficult?
Find overlapping hours that work for both of you, even if it’s just a short check-in. Leave voice or video messages for each other so you both wake up to something sweet.
How do I deal with missing my partner all the time?
It’s normal to miss them, but don’t let it consume you. Stay busy, focus on hobbies, and remind yourself that the distance is temporary. The more fulfilled you are on your own, the stronger your relationship will be.
What if we start running out of things to talk about?
That’s a sign to get creative! Ask deeper questions, play online games, send each other funny videos, or even start a mini-project together (like a shared journal or a book club). Relationships grow when conversations go beyond “How was your day?”
How can we build trust in an LDR?
Honesty and consistency. Keep each other in the loop, be open about your feelings, and don’t hide things. If something is bothering you, talk about it before it becomes a bigger issue.
How do I know if my partner is being faithful?
Trust is built over time. If their actions consistently match their words, that’s a good sign. If they start becoming distant, secretive, or avoid talking about the future, it might be worth having an honest conversation.
What if my partner doesn’t communicate as much as I want them to?
People have different communication styles. Instead of assuming the worst, talk about your expectations and find a balance that works for both of you.
Is it normal to feel jealous in a long-distance relationship?
Yes, but it’s how you handle it that matters. Talk openly about insecurities, set healthy boundaries, and remind yourself why you trust your partner.
How do I handle doubts or insecurities about the relationship?
Ask yourself: Is this a real concern or just fear talking? Doubts are normal, but constant anxiety might mean there’s something deeper that needs to be addressed. Talk to your partner instead of overthinking.
How often should we visit each other?
As often as you realistically can. Some couples visit every few weeks, others only a few times a year. The key is making the most of the time you do get together.
How do we make long-distance visits more affordable?
Look for flight deals, split travel costs, and plan trips around off-peak seasons to save money. Travel reward programs and budget airlines can also help.
How do we decide who visits whom?
Take turns or base it on who has more flexibility. If one of you can’t travel as much, find ways to make it fair in other ways.
What are some creative ways to celebrate special occasions from a distance?
Virtual dinner dates, surprise deliveries, online scavenger hunts, handwritten letters—anything that makes the day feel special, even from afar.
What are good LDR date ideas?
Video call dinners, watching the same movie, playing online games, writing each other stories, or even just going on a call while doing everyday tasks together.
When is the right time to move closer to each other?
When both of you feel ready and have a plan that works for your lives. Rushing into it can be just as risky as waiting too long.
How do we decide who should move?
Consider work, family, finances, and personal comfort. Sometimes, one person has an easier time relocating, but the decision should always be mutual.
What if we can’t agree on where to live?
Look at the pros and cons of each option. Compromise is key—sometimes a new city might be the best answer!
How do we plan for the transition from long-distance to living together?
Talk about expectations, routines, and possible challenges before the move so it’s not a total shock when the time comes.
What if closing the distance isn’t possible for a long time?
Make sure you both still see a future together. If the distance is indefinite, it’s important to keep checking in on whether you’re both still happy.
How do I know if our LDR is worth continuing?
Ask yourself: Are we still happy? Are we both putting in effort? If the relationship feels like a constant struggle with no light at the end of the tunnel, it might be time to rethink things.
What are signs that an LDR isn’t working?
Lack of effort, no future plans, trust issues, constant miscommunication, or just feeling unhappy more often than not.
How do I handle a long-distance breakup?
It’s hard, but give yourself time to heal. Lean on friends, focus on self-care, and remember that just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean it wasn’t real.
Can LDR couples stay friends after breaking up?
It depends. Some people stay friends, while others need space. Do what feels right for your emotional well-being.