Dear Mind Over Miles,
Help! I’m supposed to visit my boyfriend in a few weeks, but I’m worried because it’s just for a couple of days. There are 1,000 miles between us. My concern is that seeing him for such a short while will make me miss him more.
I know we’re going to have a great time because I always love it when I get to see him. I’m just worried that I’ll be sad when the visit is over because it’s so short. Should I still visit him anyway? I just really need advice.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time. I understand how you feel. When you’re with someone that makes you happier, it can be hard to let them go. Even if you know you’ll see them again. So here’s a little advice that has helped me in the past.
Don’t do what you’ll regret later.
Think about how you’ll feel if you cancel the visit. That’s one less memory you two will have. It may be that you could wind up feeling sadder if you canceled the visit than you would have if you went. Being in a long distance relationship is hard work, but try to remember your goal and that the distance is temporary. One day you’ll go to see the person you love and you won’t have to go home. For now, you’re making memories and setting things up so that you can close the distance one day. So try to think positively and don’t allow fear to make you do something you’ll regret later.
Don’t fight your feelings.
You’re human. You have emotions. It’s a part of the package unfortunately. It’s not always convenient, but that’s the way it is. So what can you do? Go with it. Allow yourself to feel everything. They joy of the visit, the sadness of the visit ending, everything. It’s always worse when we try to suppress the way we feel. It’s good that you miss him. If you didn’t miss him, then you’d be wondering if you really loved him. And the feeling of longing is what keeps us motivated to close the distance.
Talk to your S/O about how you feel.
You may find that your partner is feeling the same way. When you’re having a visit don’t feel like you have to put up a front. You want to have fun together, but at the same time you can share your concerns with him. Sometimes talking about it can make you feel a lot better. So let him know how much he means to you and how much you’ll miss him. Then allow him to comfort you. After all, that’s what relationships are for right?
Wishing you the best,