Dear Mind Over Miles,
I’m stationed in Germany, I’m in the US army. Me and my significant other are going through a horrible time with this distance (she lives in pennsylvania) I just need advice on how to ease the pain of the distance as its affecting us both very negatively.
I’m so sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend are having a hard time. Please be assured that you are not alone in this struggle! The fact that other people have experienced the same frustrations you’re experiencing right now means that there IS a solution to this problem for you.
First and foremost I want to point out that dealing with distance is 99% attitude. As someone who has been in a long distance relationship myself for a number of years, I know that for many people it’s easy to say that you must keep a positive attitude as if it’s some magical cure to all our long distance woes.
But truthfully I can say from experience that if you and your beautifully patient girlfriend are going to survive your deployment, you must both have a positive attitude about your situation. So when you and you she are feeling low, always always find a way to inject something positive into your conversations and interactions together. Saying something as simple as “Baby, we can get through this” can really boost the morale of you both.It might be a good idea to have a serious conversation about what would make you both feel more positive about the relationship and what things you can do to help one another deal with the distance.
Make a list of things you can do together while apart and then really DO those things! Send gifts, plan phone dates, mail letters. Do everything you can to keep your minds off the distance and to hyperfocus on your love for each other.
While the distance will never go away from your minds until you’re together again, you can dull some of that pain by keeping busy in showing one another affection.
Loving while apart can be one of the hardest obstacles a couple will face together, so take comfort in knowing that by making it through the test of distance your relationship will be not only stronger, but you’ll be able to face almost anything together once you are finally back in each others arms!