Dear Mind Over Miles,
My partner decided that he wanted to be the one to make the move across the globe (From USA to Australia). So far its been a whole lot of research, paper work, saving and legal stuff.
Out of the two of us, I’m the positive one and unfortunately at the moment he’s gotten really negative… Despite my efforts, he’s slowly convincing himself that he doesn’t deserve happiness and that’s why nothing seems to be progressing.
He thinks that nothing’s going to work out… So, I guess, my question is, how do you help restore the person you love’s happiness and show them that you are “there” for them and love them when a cyberhug just doesn’t cut it?
It sounds like your partner might be a little overwhelmed. All the paperwork, legal stuff and hoops that he has to jump through are taking a toll on him. Especially if he’s encountering unexpected difficulties, which sometimes happens when long distance couples close the distance. He may just be feeling discouraged. It’s great that you’re supporting him and trying to be there for him as much as you can.
If you want to encourage him you have to remind him of what he’s fighting for. A lot of couples make the mistake of pushing each other away when they encounter difficulties, but this is the time when you need to become closer. During stressful times, using your sense of humor and remembering to have fun together can be a great way to cheer your partner up.
Also, express confidence in him and your relationship. Talk about the wonderful future you’ll have together after you close the distance. It might even help to do something sweet for him. You could write him a love letter or do one of little things that he loves. Whatever you decide to do, a romantic gesture never hurts.
My last piece of advice for you is to let him know that it’s okay to feel discouraged sometimes. He may be so caught up in trying to get everything done that he has forgotten that you’re his emotional support. When he feels worried or overwhelmed, he can talk to you about it and vent his frustration. He’ll feel better if you remind him that you’re a team and you’ll conquer the distance together.
Dear readers, what advice would YOU give to this reader about her long distance situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!