Dear Mind Over Miles,
We’ve been in an LDR for 6 months until now. She meets me every two months. When I ask for a kiss, hug or for personal time when we’re together she makes a reason to avoid it. What should I do? Is this a preferable relationship? Because after every two months I get the chance to see her and to feel her but can’t. I don’t wanna leave her but want to find a solution to this. Please give me some advice.
Do you think there is a reason she may not want to get physical? Is it something in her past? I would ask her about it. Ask her if something is bothering her or there is a reason she is not ready to be physical.
Be sensitive to her reasoning and answers. She may just need some more time before getting physical. Ask her what would help her to feel more comfortable and respect her feelings on the matter.
For many girls, getting physical is a really big deal. If you show her respect, sensitivity and understanding this may show her that she can trust you with her feelings and help bring you all closer.
Also, since you have only seen each other about 3 or 4 times, she may still need time to get physically comfortable around you. In a relationship that isn’t LDR, a few days together usually isn’t enough for a girl to feel comfortable getting physical.
I agree with the advice above as well, but want to add another point! Sometimes when my long distance boyfriend would come to visit me I would feel SO NERVOUS touching, holding or kissing him. Something about finally having him back in the same room with me gave me unending jitters and I just wasn’t comfortable touching or being touch too often until I had settled down a bit.
So maybe your girlfriend is experiencing something similar. Everyone deals with stress and new situations differently. So while some couples can “Get down to business” relatively fast every time they visit, some others have to ease into it slowly since being apart has made being together outside of their usual comfort zone.
Bottom line is definitely having a discussion with her to see what’s up and why she’s feeling so nervous about physical intimacy with you.