How 10 Months In An LDR Changed My View Of Long Distance Relationships

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Not long ago it was that my views towards long distance relationships were completely different than today’s. Today and for the last 10 months, I, a girl from San Diego, have been in a long distance relationship with an Aussie, and the Pacific Ocean lays in between us (7,960 miles).

10mosldrviewsA year ago, my views towards long distance lovers were not favoring, but never meant to offend. I used to believe that these relationships were nothing but a mere fantasy that people liked to fall for.

I used to believe that people went on fishing for a wonderful story to tell their acquaintances and friends of how they fell in love with someone from distant lands.

Yet, the most important one was finding LDRs as not the safest way to devote and give your heart to someone whom you may not know their true intentions. Catfishing? Yes, I mean catfishing.

I was skeptical about how relationships could be authentic and successful when there was no physical contact and how the relationship was so vulnerable to lies lies and lies. I considered that it was awfully easy to make up stories and a life we don’t have and paint this fantasy world to a person who doesn’t really know us enough to know if what we’re saying is true and vice versa. Internet and social media is powerful and is at the reach of everyone, who knows who you may run into in it. So that’s where the skepticism came from.

These views started to slowly changed when I met my Aussie.

At the time, summer break had started and staying up late was my way to “celebrate it”. With this being said, there’s not many people who enjoy staying up late with you just for the sake of it. So with nothing to do, I went online and started chatting with strangers. Was I defying my beliefs about online strangers? Maybe, maybe not. I tried keeping it the least personal as possible with the strangers I chatted, all until a particular Aussie and I connected and started chatting.

Long story short, after a great conversation and adding each other on skype, I thought that night would be the end of it, but I was completely wrong (really glad I was). Fast-forwarding a year, I see that I am in a long distance relationship, and my mindset about them is somewhat different.

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There are thoughts that still have not changed throughout this time, and probably will not be changing anytime soon. Some of these are internet being a hazardous place to meet a potential love if a person is not being careful, and that in fact, there can still be lies, lies, and more lies in an ldr if communication and honesty lacks. Last but definitely not least, how there are individuals that find satisfaction in setting people up for disappointment. Catfishing? You are correct again, I mean catfishing!

Now, my views about long distance relationships that have been adjusted are the majority. Throughout the whole year, and counting, of knowing each other and a little more than 10 months of being in an ldr, I now know and feel the struggle long distance couples go through every day. Scheduling phone/video calls, sending pictures of any activity throughout the day when it is clear we’d love it if our significant other was with us experiencing it as well, the need of a tender hug or kiss when things are off, etc., may not be favoring for the heart. The struggle is real, you and I know it.

I now, strongly believe that people do not simply go fishing for a cute story to tell their friends, it just happens. When you meet someone who makes a great impact on you, and you realize you’ve started to have feelings for an individual that stands far away from you (physically), it is inevitable and from then on, it depends on the two. It takes two to tango. Planned or unplanned, it simply happens.

I’ve grown to understand that a relationship can sure work even when it is lacking physical contact. Yes, you cannot feel them physically, but having their complete support, their comforting words, a trust that has been built even when the miles are in between, a love that crosses distance and barriers, and a strong bond of communication, may not be the same, but they sure make up a great supplement for it.

Thinking how perspectives can be altered in such a short time is surreal, but I could not be any happier to realize this.

My perception about long distance relationship surely changed. What about yours? Have your thoughts about LDRs been adjusted throughout time or have they always been the same? Share your thoughts with me on the comment section, I would really like to hear what you have to say.

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4 comments

MrsReal August 22, 2016 - 4:16 am

Hi,
Happy to came across your article. The struggle is REAL. Cannot put words to emphasis it enough.
I have been in LDR with my boyfriend for more than 2 years and we are yet to meet face to face. Financially we are struggling. We planned and planned, there always seem to be something going on. Our goal is one, i move to be with him. Country choice. But before I move, I wanted him to come and at least try before we decide to settle down.
Before this, I have my doubts and what if…. but after something happened, this doubts become clear to me. There is not many what if for us to guess if we never take chances (of course with caution)
Above all… the struggle is real (LOL) and if it is worth it, try to make it work. At least you did try then simply give up because of the obstacles.
Cheers 🙂

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Fernanda September 1, 2016 - 6:14 pm

Hello MrsReal,
Thank you for your comment and for sharing your about your ldr story. I understand what you mean, although we’ve only been in a long distance relationship for almost a year, I’ve learned that the struggle is REAL! I agree with you, we have to take chances with some caution to not sit and wonder of what it could have been because you’ll have some peace that you both tried. My best wishes to you both, may that meeting face to face happens soon and the plans you have as a couple occur with the best timing possible.
Cheers!

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Kyla September 10, 2016 - 4:39 am

I’m glad I came across your article as well. I have been in a LDR for 9 months now almost a year and it’s been full of ups and downs good and bad days but we’re still going strong. I’m in the middle of the pacific ocean while he’s on the other side of the U.S. (Hawaii and West Virgina) we haven’t met in person yet but we plan on meeting this upcoming summer in June of 2017. It has been a rough time making schedules and still doing us. I’d say it gets even more difficult when you both school. With me going to school and working most of the week it’s a real challenge to keep up with our phone and video chat times not to mention the 6 hour time difference by the time I’m finished with m classes he’s already going to bed so we only have 30 to 15 mins of phone time. yes the struggle is beyond real but we found ways to make up lost time that we missed throughout the week with video chatting all weekend and letter and gifts when we can. there are times where I want to give up when I overthink but I keep on fighting and keeping faith because in reality I’ve grown to love my boyfriend Patrick. A LDR might be difficult and tiring but it’ll be all worth it in the end when there are no distance in between the two

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Fernanda October 1, 2016 - 1:10 am

Hello Kyla,
First of all, I’m so sorry for this late response. I’m really happy you were able to come across this article and I appreciate that you’ve shared about your ldr. Yes, I know exactly the struggle, time is just a friendenemy in long distance relationships. I’m so happy to hear that even though the schedules you both have are quite busy, you both are able to manage making time for each other. That’s amazing, I genuinely wish you and Patrick the best and hope that the day you meet for the first time comes soon and is perfect. I also hope that in 2017 I am able to finally hold my Aussie for the first time. I’d say that as long as both of you put in effort to the relationship, communicate, and maintain the love you have for each other, that awaited day will be a day closer from coming.
Thank you once again and my best wishes, Kyla!

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