Sometimes, no matter how hard partners try, their long distance relationships just don’t work. There could be any number of reasons why, but the realization that it’s just not working is something that just doesn’t go away.

Regardless of the reason, you may still find it hard to come to terms with the fact that your relationship has turned toxic. You may even have trouble pulling the trigger to break things off, especially after you’ve worked so hard to maintain your relationship from a distance.

If you know that your relationship is toxic, why is it so hard to just end things? Maybe you identify with these 3 reasons why it’s hard to leave a toxic long distance relationship.

  1. Admitting Defeat

“True love conquers distance” is a sentiment that keeps long distance couples fighting. It’s really sweet, it really really is, but it also introduces the idea that if you fail at a long distance relationship you failed pretty hard at love and life.

Stop. Ending your long distance relationship is not a defeat! It also doesn’t mean you didn’t have true love while you were together. It’s a healthy recognition that it’s time to move on, rather than stubbornly staying in a relationship just to avoid feeling defeated or beat by distance.

Your happiness is so much more important than some silly notion that you can’t let the distance beat you. And your partner’s happiness is important too. There’s nothing wrong with ending things and staying great friends from a distance instead.

  1. Guilt Over your Partner

Your partner may have no idea that you’re feeling strain in the relationship and because of that, you’re worried that they won’t take it well. After all, they love you immensely and may even need you as an emotional support.

Should you just drop them and leave them hanging out of nowhere? You might be plagued with feelings of guilt. Here is someone that loved you from 3,000 miles away and you want to end things just because you aren’t interested or compatible anymore. It can be a rough feeling to deal with.

Think about this: as long as you’re feeling torn over how you feel about your partner or the relationship, can you really give that person the best love they deserve?

  1. Relationship Denial

You see all the signs that your relationship is on the rocks, but are constantly making excuses for it. It’s in our nature to want things to go well, especially when it comes to loving someone. But sometimes you just have to suck it up and face the facts: sometimes two people just aren’t good for each other.

Denial can be a dangerous thing. Even if our inner voice is saying “uhoh” and our heart is going “something isn’t quite right here” we’re fighting to save something we don’t entirely believe in anymore. Don’t do that to yourself, you truly deserve better.

No one wants to survive fighting for a long distance relationship, only to get together and find that things aren’t working out. If they’d listened to the warning signs ahead of time, all of the time wasted fighting for something you knew wasn’t working out could have been spent finding someone and a relationship that makes you truly happy!