Dear Mind Over Miles,

My boyfriend and I met one year ago online, and we’ve been a couple for nine months without problems. I’m in last year of high school and he’s at second year in university.

I went in his city for the new year’s eve for a week with my mom, but there I had a fight with his mother, and because of her we broke up. Then he told me that he still loved me the 14th of February, and we came back together. But his mother told him that she won’t give him any money for the flight, and my mother, who was upset because of the way he treated me, said the same.

I’ll receive 100 bucks in march, which are enough for the flight. But I’m scared that my mom will kick me out if I buy the plane tickets. But I really want to see him, mainly because our anniversary is in April and if I don’t go we won’t see each other at least until August.

What should I do? Just go and hope that my mother will take it well, or don’t go and wait for him to come down?


Dear llean,

It sounds like you’re in a tough spot with your parents! Your anniversary is important and it’s understandable why you want to do something special. It’s also understandable that you’re concerned about the reaction of your parents, potential homelessness is no joke! For couples, communication is very important, especially in a situation like this. No matter what you decide, it’s important that you discuss it with your boyfriend and if possible your mother.

Telling your mother how much you love this guy and how serious you are about him might change the way she sees him and his family. Even if you’re resolved to go whether she supports you or not, at least let her know how you feel and what your plans are. When you get there you might run into his mother. If you have a heart to heart with his mother and apologize for what happened between you, that might be the start of building a bridge.

If you and your S/O both resolve to respectfully show both of your mothers how serious you are about your love, they may decide to accept your relationship and not freak out when you arrange a visit to see each other. Communication is an important skill that will clear up misunderstandings and stabilize your relationship. So keep communicating with each other and make important decisions together as a couple.