Lets face it. Its a well known fact that Long distance relationships aren’t easy. They require two strong people, a lot of self control, love, positivity and dedication -and that’s just to survive it!
Needless to say maintaining a relationship where two people are cities, states, countries or oceans away requires even more work and does not come easily. But just because its hard doesn’t mean that you should ignore it. Few things in this life just fall into our laps. Like everything else, if you want your relationship to work you have to really work at it.
There are many things that all couples must do to make their relationship work, but here are five that are LDR specific, because the challenges we face are a lot different.
Talk, communicate, and then talk some more.
So often close-distanced relationships rely on things that long distancers cant. Physical Touch, eye contact, body cues and the general ability to physically do more things together.
Long Distance couples have to use what they have. And in most cases your most effective tool is your voice and your words. The best thing you can do to build intimacy while you’re apart is to talk and talk often. Talk about your day, your dreams, your goals and your aspirations regardless of how mundane they may seem to you.
Talk about things you maybe wouldn’t talk about if you were in a close-distanced relationship. After all, it’s sometimes less unnerving to open up to someone over the phone or through a text message than it is face to face. (Keep it sane though.)
Talking in this way can open up opportunities to solidify and deepen your relationship in a way that being close-distanced might not have.
Remember to do nice things.
One of the leading causes of break-ups is a lack of spark or excitement. Relationships can sometimes start to become ordinary and routine and the only persons to blame are the guilty parties involved.
Long distance relationships need spark too. You’re already dealing with distance, longing and loneliness. Add on a lack of spark and your little house is sure to crumble.
Don’t hesitate (or forget!) to do nice things for one another. No matter how small, badly presented, awkwardly made or unimpressive you may think it to be. Its amazing how even the simplest things can make such a huge difference.
Sending an e-card, or sending a picture of one thing that reminded you of them that day. Little things like that can make a huge difference in the way that you both perceive one another and how you both feel about the relationship. And the way you both feel directly affects your success.
Be forgiving (& willing to apologize)
Being in a long distance relationship means that, for a time, you both have separate lives. You have different schedules, different priorities and as you live apart you’ll both have different experiences and perspectives on life.
So sometimes things will just clash. Appointments may be forgotten. A phone call may be missed. You might be the one with a hectic schedule. Or maybe because you both are experiencing different things you just don’t see eye to eye on everything anymore.
Be willing to forgive those little transgressions and look at the big picture. Its easy for an LDR to end when both parties are unwilling to bend. The silent treatment can quickly become the silent treatment that ended it all.
If you are the one who needs forgiving, be willing to apologize and provide a valid excuse to calm the nerves of your beau. Relationships are a give and take.
Have regular dates
Have a set time where you can both just ‘be’ together. Whether its over the phone or over webcam or maybe even chatting together.
Setting apart a special time for one another that is different from your usual phone calls, webcams or routine is one of the best ways to solidify your relationships.
It says “I feel we are special So we deserve this special time to do something special together so that we can both feel loved and special.”
Save up for a visit.
There’s something that is so renewing about spending even a few days with someone you love. While its understandable that not all couples can do this, seeing each other is a key part of really feeling closer.
Once the visit is all done, you’ll leave one another feeling refreshed and ready for the next stretch of time you have to spend apart. Visiting makes Long distance relationships that much more bearable.
What has helped you keep your LDR feeling close and connected? Share them with us on Twitter, Facebook or in the comments below!