Everyone loves differently. To say that you love someone is truly subjective, it means something different for every individual. But for anyone who has ever experienced what it feels like to be in love, you know that it’s the best feeling in the world.
For some reason, people have this perception that people who are in long distance relationships aren’t really in love. That they’re desperate, disillusioned and settling because they can’t find someone closer. “A long distance relationship is just the promise of love” some might say, but you and I both know they’re a million different kinds of wrong.
How DO you know when you’re truly in love? Especially when you’re in a long distance relationship. Your relationship is so unique, so special when compared to all the other relationships out there. And while it’s easy to when you’re in love in a traditional, close-distanced relationship, how do you know you’re in love when you literally only see each other 3 times a year (or less) and you’re almost never in the same room together?
Here are 10 signs that you might truly be in love with someone, even if they’re so far away:
1. They’re the first & last person
At the end of the day, they’re the last person on your mind before you go to bed and they’re the first person on your mind when you wake up. When something good happens to you, they’re the first person you want to tell. And when something rocks your world in a horrible way, they’re the one you want to run to for support and you know that they’ll be there.
2. Your relationship isn’t just for show
You don’t have an LDR just for the cute instagram photos and barrage of likes from hungry followers. You’d still love everything about your relationship even if you never got a single follower, like or any kind of recognition.
There’s nothing wrong with reaching out to a community and other people on social media, but it’s not what you really care about. It’s not why you have the relationship or where you get validation. Social media is something you could take or leave and you won’t feel empty about your relationship without it. Your partner is the one you really want, likes or no likes.
3. Being with them is like going home
You know that feeling when you get home from a day out, you rip off your shoes, your socks, your bra (& maybe even your pants) and just immerse yourself in that amazing “Ahhh, finally!” feeling? Being with your partner (finally!), is just like that. You see them and there’s this wave of comfort, joy and relief. With them, you feel comfortable, warm and safe and the chemistry is always there. If you had to name a place you’d want be forever, their name & their arms would always be your first pick.
4. You completely trust each other
Distance is rough and full of uncertainty, but true love means truly trusting your partner. LDRs aren’t the only relationships that require trust -they all do. That’s why they call it falling in love – it can literally feel like we’re falling from a building sometimes. It’s exciting but scary at the same time. But when you’re in love you know that your partner will always be there to catch you and they’d never do anything that would make your heart break from the fall -even from miles away.
5. You don’t compare your relationship to others
Sure, we’ve all had that longing to be together. You may even envy other couples that get to spend all their time together in person, but that’s nothing like comparing your relationship to others. When you’re in love, you have no reason to compare. You’re completely happy with your relationship, knowing there’s nothing lacking about it except your proximity. (In fact, you might even feel that your relationship is better than others, and that’s not a bad thing at all!)
6. They fit perfectly into your life down the road
When you look at your life 5 or 10 years from now, there’s no question of where your partner would be and how they would fit into your life. You can already see the adventures you’re going to have together, the boring Saturday mornings, the plump-cheeked faces of your future kids or the 12 hour plane flights to anywhere you want to go. You can already see your future together like it’s tomorrow & you both share that same vision.
7. You’re totally, completely Selfless…
..and you can’t even help it. If you had to make a list of things that you wouldn’t do for your partner, you’d be hard pressed to list much of anything. Love makes you do things you thought you’d never do for someone and to sacrifice things you never thought you would for anyone.
When you only like someone, know that there is a lot you would do for that person, but you still have your limits and reservations -there are things you still wouldn’t ever do. But true love? It has no limits, and that’s not something that can be forced, it happens naturally.
8. You love their imperfections
If you love someone, you’ve probably noticed that you love all the things they tend to dislike about themselves. All the imperfections they may have spent years trying to hide, cover up or minimize are the things you find most attractive about them. True loves does that. Because you know that all those imperfections and idiosyncrasies are what make them who they are. And you love who they are in every single way.
9. You change & become better for them
You’ve probably heard the quote “If someone loves you, they won’t try to change you. They’ll accept you for who you are.” And that’s true. Because true love means they won’t have to change you, you’ll change for them voluntarily without them having to say a word. When you TRULY love someone, you tune into the things they want and need and you make changes to fit because you want them to be happy. You want to become the best version of yourself for the person you love. If you feel like you don’t need to change for that person in any way, then you may not truly love them.
10. You have confidence in your love
You know that even if you were on totally different planets, your partner would never leave you, never seek someone better and that your love would stand the test of distance & time. In fact, you know that it’d pass just about any test with flying colors, because your love is just that strong. Distance isn’t a negative about your relationship, it’s just a temporary condition and you’ve totally got this.
Being in love is one of the most amazing feelings in the world & being in a long distance relationship is like the ultimate fairy-tale. How do you know that you truly, absolutely and undeniably love your long distance spouse?
As I read through this, it was amazing to realise just how many of the signs I had with my LDR partner! (Though the last one is a little tricky, since I suffer from anxiety), I also read your article of gifts, another great idea (Ifor you’require arty) is to make a hand illustrated poem for them!
Thank you for posting this! I am currently in a LDR, and I thought my bf and I are in love, and I was right! 😀
Him and I are in deep love, and thank you for showing me the signs, since I risked my ass for him, and we both love each other dearly. <3
Thank you so much!
Turns out im deep in love with my LDR best friend. Wow.