Distance is the keyword. Being away from the person you love can feel unbearable. Living more than 5000 miles away from my boyfriend I feel desperate and hopeless at times, but luckily there are so ways to make the distance seem shorter.
Here is a list of our 5 personal favorite methods that serve to make it feel like you are right next to each other.
1. “Couple” – the ultimate long-distance app
We actually discovered the app called “Couple” while we were together and just played around with it a little bit – I reminded Alex to bring me my iPhone chord when I was in the garden and he was in the house.
But as I left and there was once more 5000 miles in between us this app really made things easier. It is made to be a personal messaging app for just two people and as so has the regular features of any messaging app – the video-calls, audio-recording, sending pictures and so on. But in addition it has some awesome and different features:
- “I’m thinking of you” button: With one click you can tell your partner that he/she is in your thoughts.
- Live drawing: You can draw each other cute illustrations or write personal messages on your touch screen. It happens in real-time and you can even draw simultaneously!
- Thumb kissing: My favorite feature of this app. When entering thumb-kissing mode your partner’s fingerprint will appear on your screen where they are touching their screen. Touch your thumb to the screen and your finger will appear on their screen. Touch thumbs. It is almost like being on either side of a window!
Additionally “Couple” saves all the drawings, videos and pictures you have shared so you can look through it all whenever you want. Couple works for iPhone and Android.
2. Alternative phone-calls – listen in on your partner’s life.
Every LDR couple knows about face-time and video calls. Seeing your partner on a screen while talking is a great way of feeling like you’re talking in real life. But at the same time they can feel forced, and you rarely feel like you are experiencing your partner in their true daily life the way you want to.
A different way of feeling like you aren’t apart is through “inactive phone-calls”. This means that you simply call each other, plug in your headphones and leave the call on without actually talking. In this way you can listen to your partner go through their daily life, buying groceries and walking down busy streets.
Obviously this works best with free online phone-calls and at times when one person is for example busy with daily tasks while the other is just lying in bed. I used to love falling asleep to the sound of Alex cooking. One time I almost felt like I was hanging out with him and his friends in Cleveland while I was actually biking to work in Copenhagen. Read about that experience in the first chapter of our live-novel.
3. Bed-pictures – make it seem like you are lying next to each other.
I don’t know if I am the only one who has a habit of sleeping on one side of the bed rather than the middle even when my boyfriend is not there. Going to bed alone I still stay on the left side, looking at the empty spot next to me painfully reminded night after night that he is not beside me.
One day Alex sent me a picture of him laying in bed, taken from the angle I would have seen him if I had been there. I saved it and sent him a similar picture back. Only later did we realize that we had both saved those pictures, opening them on our phones beside us whenever we were feeling lonely in bed.
Putting the screen with that picture right there next to me really calmed me down as if I had a small piece of him there. This can really dull the pain of separation. It is especially effective for the couples with a time-difference in between them, making it impossible to do video-calls while both in bed.
4. Go on a date – use your senses together.
With modern technology it is possible to talk face to face through video-calls. But what if you want to go on a date? Bringing your tablet, laptop or smart-phone to sit across from you in a restaurant could turn out a liiittle bit awkward. Instead you can cook a nice dinner together at home.
Agree on a recipe – ideally for a dish neither of you have tried to make before – and both buy ingredients for one. Have fun following the recipe step by step while on video-call and eat together in the candle-light after. Not only sharing sounds and visuals but also textures, flavors and smells can really make the distance between you grow smaller.
If, like me, you are in a relationship affected by a large time-difference, this can still work for a lunch/dinner date, or even breakfast/dinner depending on your relative time zones. Who doesn’t love pancakes for dinner or entrecote for breakfast?
5. Play a game – spend a relaxed evening laughing.
When I visited Alex the very first time we played scrabble a whole lot. After leaving I missed just relaxing and having fun with him in that way.
When people are tired after work and simply want some quality time with their partners they can sit down with a cup of coffee and a board game. But there is no reason why LDR couples shouldn’t be able to do the same!
There are plenty of online games that provide a double player feature. Make yourself a nice cup of coffee and be on call or video call while you are laughing and talking over a relaxing game of scrabble. No better way of feeling like you are just hanging out at home together. Facebook has a great scrabble app where you can challenge your friends.
What methods do you use to stay close to one another?
My boyfriend and I LOVE to have all night Skype dates. It started out with me not being able to stay up and watch a movie as late as we used to, so I would always fall asleep on him.. Now we do it all the time. It is a great way for us to still feel connected, and it allows my boyfriend to feel like he can still protect me, even from 500 miles away.