Once You Have Met – Setting The Expectations

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So, this one is for the couples who have met online, whether it was through a dating app, an online social environment or by chance – Has your relationship changed with your loved one after meeting?

I ask this question because last month I met my love in-person for the first time. We had been committed to each other for 5 months prior to our first meeting. And no, it felt completely natural.

The many weeks we spent together confirmed that my love for him is real. But when I came home to Australia, I felt like our relationship had changed. I felt more needy towards him. I was quite depressed for a few weeks after seeing him. And I guess the one major thing I felt was that now that the anticipation of meeting had been and gone, what happens now? Will we feel the same for each other? How will the relationship change?

The truth is, yes. The relationship will change. Depending on how well your meeting was with your love (I really hope you can say that your meeting with your love went really well!), it will determine on whether you and your love will continue with your relationship, or if you both don’t have the love invested into the relationship anymore. Either way, the dynamics will change. Let’s be optimists and say that you and your love spending time together went super well, what happens now? Well, you’ll have to re-adjust your expectations.

As LDR people, you have strength, positivity and courage. Know that you had just spent such an amazing time with your love. Use that to keep your love burning and just relax and roll with how the relationship pans out! Don’t be scared! It’s completely normal for you to expect more from your loved one now!

Ok. So you know that the relationship will change. But what is exactly different than before? I hate to say it, but meeting someone in person can reassure us in some way so we are more at ease, any negative thoughts may be put to rest.

So if you were to think of your LDR as a level on Super Mario, you’ve hit your head on one of those “question mark” boxes, got a gold coin so you jump to the next set of blocks to hit your head on another “question mark” box! It’s called progression and that is a great thing. It means that your relationship is growing!

The question you really need to ask yourself is “What do I want from my relationship?” Most LDR’s are serious and LDR people are in it for the long haul. If that’s the case, be honest with yourself and your partner and make sure that you can achieve the expectations that you have. I always say that “honesty is key” and if you and your love can’t master this from the get-go, prepare for some crazy times ahead from the dishonesty.

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Just remember that if you met online, you and your love have common interests or similar expectations so there will be common ground. And you’re both committing yourself to each other for a reason. To grow as a couple, not being challenged will not stimulate growth. Keep moving forward to strengthen your relationship! You’re both LDR people! You can do it!

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1 comment

Lulu July 8, 2015 - 3:55 pm

it all sounds great but I have a different attitute towards LDRs and meeting in person. After meeting my Love for the first time (after 11 months of daily talking) I DO NOT have any expectations, I just enjoy having him in my life. Nothing is definite and who knows – he may be gone (or me) with another partner, who knows ? I do not like limits, restrictions, rules and expectations. Just living in the moment and see where it goes. .. Just be greatful thet there is this person who makes you feel so happy, not everyone has this so in some way we are blessed! When he is with me and stay with me for the rest of my life – great! If he is gone one day – well, there is nothing I can do… I’m 40+ y.old woman and have been through many relationships , old enough to not idealize , to not expect anything … but just enjoy the monent… eveyday.. LDRs are a beautiful things. 🙂

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