At one time your long distance relationship was great; you were thriving and growing, but now you feel stuck and feel like giving up.  But hold on before you close the door to a once good relationship.  There are a number of things you can do to keep the romance alive, so here is a 5-Step Plan to Revive Your Long Distance Relationship.  At first, you may feel a little uncomfortable about the process, but in the end you will be thankful that you hung in there.

The great thing about the 5-Step process is that your mate doesn’t have to know what you are doing.  This exercise is completely independent, but when one person changes, the entire relationship changes.  This exercise is independent, because only you can control you.

Step One:  Assess Your Relationship

Get pen and paper and draw a line down the center to make two columns.  On the one side, write “Positive,” and on the other side, write “Negative.”  On the positive side, list all things you appreciate and are happy about your relationship.  Now list all the things you are not pleased about with your relationship, on the negative side.  Be honest and generous with your notes.  Now that you have created your list, move on to step two.

Step Two:  Decide What You Want Out of The Relationship

What do you want from your relationship, and better yet; what are you willing to give in your relationship?  Are you looking for more romance?  Are you looking for more talking time? More face-to-face time?  Playing games more?  More gifts?  Once you decide what matters most to you, you can move on to step three.  Note:  Do not assume that more face-to-face time is the answer.  Making a connection and feeling loved is the answer.

Step Three:  Study Your Partner or Mates Needs (Listen)

Now that you know what you want, find out what your partner wants or needs from the relationship.  This is a critical step where your chances of reviving your relationship hang in the balance.  Build upon what you already know about your partner and enhance that aspect.

For example, you may know your partner likes red roses; find out if she likes yellow roses too!  Since roses can be expensive, order them online to purchase them for less.  The list is endless on things you can do once you discover your partner’s needs. Key:  When your partner says or texts something they like, jot it down on paper.

Step Four:  Act Upon What You Have Learned

Now that you know where you’ve been, where you are going and the needs of your partner; you can act upon what you have learned.  At this point, you should be a changed person.  You should even feel better about yourself and appreciate the knowledge and insight you’ve gained about yourself and your mate.  You will begin to see some results now.

For example, you may get a call from your partner stating, “Thanks for calling to wake me up so I wouldn’t be late for the important meeting this morning.”  You have just ventured out into the “sea of love.”  Small things can make a huge difference and go a long way.  Distance dissipates with unselfishness.

Step Five:  Show Appreciation

Appreciation is the ultimate step and highest expression of a loving relationship.  You’ve been down the road of discovery and listened intently to your partner’s need; now you are going to be lavish in showing appreciation.

This step is by far the sacrificial gift coming from you.  You will now honor your spouse with a surprise gift, excursion, or romantic get-a-way…  Whatever the gift is, you know for sure that they want this very badly.

All relationships go through touch times and rough spots, and long distance relationships are challenged even more.  But being conscientious about your relationship and making it a priority increases the chance of succeeding.

Stay focused and positive.  Now get started!

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Guy is a long distance relationship coach who gives thoughtful and knowing advice to the romantically troubled at his website, Having dealt almost exclusively with long distance relationships in his own early adulthood, struggling with jealousies and disappointment before eventually finding success, Guy’s expertise is personal and hard-won.

He made a definitive choice to extensively study how to make long distance relationships work and, very pleased with the results, is now focused on helping others. Guy knows all too well the various dangers, worries, and problematic behavior patterns of long distance relationships, but also how to spot them and defeat them, resulting in partnerships that are flourishing and healthy.