You love your partner, there’s no doubt about that! But a long distance relationship cannot thrive just on the knowledge that you love each other. Distance can do funny things to our minds; it can make us jealous, worried, insecure & sometimes just plain angry about our situation. All because we’re far apart.
It takes a real dynamic duo to successfully complete the very real balancing act of coping with the distance while staying truly in love at the same time. But even if you aren’t so good at balancing those emotions against the distance, don’t fret!
Staying in love when you’re far apart is incredibly & superbly easy if you take at least one of these 5 suggestions that will help you stay embarrassingly & hopelessly in love throughout your LDR.
1. Find Something To Bond Over
Psychological research shows that for any relationship to really work, a couple needs to have things in common which gives them both a sense of mutual pleasure, excitement and a sense of shared identity. And actually, couples who share the same interests are 85% more likely to stay together for the long-haul.
For long distance couples, this is even more important. It’s so easy to drift apart when you can’t be physically together and that’s a real danger. When you don’t feel connected to your sweetheart, it’s easier for all of those unwanted emotions like jealousy & insecurity & distrust to well up inside you.
Sharing a favorite TV show or playing a game you both love together might seem like it doesn’t accomplish much on the grand scale of things, but the reality is that it really does an awful lot in keeping you and your partner bonded together & in love.
2. Compromise every so often
Everyone wants to be right & we all have those particular things that we just can’t seem to bend on. You probably have things you feel really strongly about too and maybe sometimes those things clash with what your partner feels strongly about or wants to do (or not do).
Its moments like this when you have to step back and make a decision: Is being right about ‘this’, or getting your way about ‘that’ worth distancing yourself even more from the person you love? Would you rather be right & get exactly what YOU want but simultaneously lose your partner because of it?
Sound like an extreme way to look at things? It isn’t. Because every-time you and your partner clash over something neither of you can compromise on, you pull away from each other just a little more. And every-time you pull away? It’s like opening the door to a lot of ugly emotions and issues that ultimately can chip away at your relationship.
So, while this may not apply every-time or to every situation. How about compromising every so often and letting your partner win or have their say? Show them that their opinion and what they want is sometimes more important than what you may want and you’ll find that your relationship will flourish!
3. Imagine that your s/o might disappear from the face of the earth tomorrow.
Okay, we’re not saying to keep any kind of a morbid visual in your mind. Don’t freak yourself out. What we are saying is to really appreciate your partner & the moments you do have with them.
Most people, after being around someone long enough, get used to the idea of always having that person. You’ve probably experienced this. After a few months in a relationship together you get comfortable, you say things you may not have said when you first started dating. As time wears on you may find that it’s easier for you to get angry at them, to yell at them, to do things you would never have done the first few weeks of knowing them.
If you knew that you had just 1 day left with your partner, wouldn’t you treat them very differently? Take a page from some military LDR couples, who this is a reality for everyday. They truly understand the value of their partners & many military couples have amazing, loving relationships because of it.
4. Compliment Your Partner
Fact: Everyone loves getting a compliment. Even if you’re bashful when it happens, you still get that kick of joy from the simple fact that someone liked something about you so much they needed to vocalize it.
But while you love receiving compliments, are you the kind of person who takes and never gives? Think about the number of times you gave your sweetheart a compliment today. Or yesterday. Or last week. Can you think of one? If not, then you’re missing on a big opportunity to show your partner how much you actually like them!
And sometimes knowing that someone LIKES you has more value than knowing they just love you. After all, we’re sure you’ve heard the saying “you can’t choose who you love” But you CAN choose who you compliment!
5. Make an Effort to Look Your Best
You’ve been together for a long time, and you’re just so comfortable together. He’ll send you photos with messy morning hair and blood shot eyes, and you’re okay sending him a photo of you wearing that one shirt with the holes in it. Some people have gone so far as to take photos of themselves on the toilet together. Whatever floats your boat, right?
There’s nothing wrong with all of that, it’s exciting to finally feel that comfortable with someone! A connection like that doesn’t come easily to a lot of people. But just because you can doesn’t mean that you always should. A fact of life is that people are naturally attracted to things that look nice. If all you send is photos of yourself looking frumpy, that’s how your partner will begin to perceive you a majority of the time.
So keep your partner interested in you and make an effort look your best on occasion. Let them see that they are worth dressing up and looking nice for. They’ll love you more for it and you’ll see that love and appreciation (What hunk! What a babe!) reflected in your relationship.
All you long term LDRs out there! We’re talking 6 months or longer: how have you stayed in love during your time apart?
My boyfriend and I have been in an ldr for 5 years. YES 5 YEARS! And one thing that helps us a lot is tagging each other in instagram photos. Its sounds silly but when he tags me in photos that remind him of me I know that he’s spending the whole day thinking about me even though he’s like 2,000 miles away from me. I don’t worry about him cheating or looking somewhere else because he reminds me of how much he loves me every minute of the day and thats helped us survive 5 years of this mess
Ger and I have been together for about a year and I half and we totally find that having common interests keeps us close! We are both huge gaming nerds and love the same TV shows, so every week when new episodes come out we set a date and watch them together and then discuss the show and our theories for what may happen in the next one. And since we both like gaming, Ger always gushes to me about his conquests in game. We also have this thing where before bed we tell each other ‘something nice’, meaning something we appreciate about the other person. It adds a little cheese to the mix. 🙂
my wife and i are together now for littlebit over 5 years. december december 2010. got married in 2013. She still lives in bangkok now and i live in the netherlands. How we keep it real? focus on our future goals. do the things we both love.
Then we have lots to talk about.
it amazes me, when people ask me what we talk about if we skype everyday. But we are no different than any other couple, although we are not together in person. Thank god for the internet.