Okay, so you’ve had THE most amazing trip with your partner, but now it’s time for the dreaded part; the leaving. You knew it would be coming, in fact, a few days before you leave, you’re mentally calculating the time you have left with them, which also results in a lot of cookie baking haha!
Non-LDR’s who follow LDR couples stories only have a glimpse of the couple leaving each other through a single photo and a paragraph caption paired with it. They’ll leave a sympathetic comment and give it a ‘like’ and then scroll on.
What they fail to take into consideration is just how intimate, raw and heartbreaking it was to take that picture and write that heartbreaking caption. You’re literally showing the world how you look like when your heart is breaking, because that’s literally how it feels.
Airports are a place of mixed emotions for LDR couples. We certainly have a love-hate relationship with them! You’re almost guaranteed to be in the complete opposite mood than the one you were in when you were there the last time.
If the last time you were there, you were sleep deprived, lugged down by the biggest suitcase you could find on sale, paired up with a backpack that’s threatening to burst open and spew your underwear onto the floor yet you’re still running to the gate… then you know next time it’ll be different.
The next time you see an airport, your feet will suddenly feel like they’re made out of steel, they certainly don’t feel like they’re yours! No, you wouldn’t consciously walk to get on a plane to leave your partner!
You almost certainly have contemplated running back into their arms, and never letting go. It’s one of the only places where you can sit there and cry your eyes out, with snot running down your face complete with an aimless stare, and won’t get judged for it. Don’t even try and hide it, we’ve all been there!
The trip to the airport might be fine, you’ve agreed to not cry yet, though you’re already holding the tissues and a wry smile has been on your face for over half the ride there. Your conversations are suddenly about abstract things; the weather, have you packed everything? And say hi to this family member and other things that don’t matter. Anything to keep your mind off the reality you’re facing.
With every minute that passes, your words are replaced by silence, little kisses and a vice like grip on each other. You hate every moment, every fiber of your body is telling you to not go, just stay, yet every passing minute, you’re closer to the place that’ll rip you from your partner once more.
You’ve arrived at the airport, your attention is suddenly taken off of where you are as you search for the check in spot for your airline. It’s a horrible feeling walking to check-in and dropping off your luggage. Every inch of your body is trying to delay it, but the time means that you really need to rush.
Suddenly you find yourself sitting there outside of departures with your partner, no words exchanged, just endless holding hands, not daring to look at each other in case you REALLY can’t hold in your tears any longer. You mumble a few ‘I Love Yous’, take a few last pictures… and then you have to go.
Walking away from them to go to security is one of the worst feelings in the world. Actually, by the time you’re reading this, my co-founder would have had his memory refreshed on how horrible this exact situation is not too long ago, my heart aches for him!
You always convince yourself that once you’re through security and you can’t see them, then it’ll get better. Wrong. Your tears will become uncontrollable, thank god the officers have seen their fair share of snotty crying faces, or this could be embarrassing.
Through tear filled eyes you numbingly collect your belongings, you dare yourself to look back, just one more time, one more look. That’s all it’ll take for you to exercise the highest level of self-control; they’re right… there. A flying kiss and an ‘I Love You’ later, you walk along to get to your gate.
With one deep breath, you board the plane, and life will return to the harsh reality of being in an LDR. A reality where screen kisses just aren’t as nice as real ones, and hugging yourself really doesn’t do their hugs justice either! But that’s the price you pay, that’s the pain you’ll deal with, that’s the reality you’ll face with a half-smile because there’s no-one in this world who you’d go through that pain for, there’s no-one whose face you’d rather see on the other side of security.
Being in an LDR is hard, but life without them just wouldn’t be the same. You do it, every single time, every single trip and with every ounce of your being, because love gives you that strength to.
We’re all stronger than we think, we’re all capable of things we never knew we would be able to do. You take everything that comes with being in an LDR, be that when you see their face waiting for you at arrivals or when you see tears streaming down their face too at departures, you do it, because what you have is real, you won’t be another failed case. You love them, and home will always be in their arms.
‘You’ll never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place – Miriam Adeney.
Guest Post Thanks to Crossing The World