If you are engaged or are thinking of becoming engaged, congratulations! This is a huge step in your relationship as it solidifies your commitment to each other and your future together.
As you start making plans and adding pins to your Pinterest boards, consider some aspects of a long distance engagement that are unique, compared with close distance couples.
First, stay in the present. Once you know you’ll be together, especially if you’ve set a date, all communication will quickly turn to wedding planning. Pretty soon you may realize you’ve gone through a week of phone calls and haven’t said a word about what’s going on in your lives right now.
The period of engagement isn’t just to plan the big day; it’s also to continue growing in your relationship together. If you spend all your time on the wedding, the relationship will grow stagnant. Long distance couples don’t have the luxury of sharing their daily lives together, which makes it that much more crucial to talk about the day-to-day activities, however boring they may seem compared to dresses and registries.
Second, consider the logistics regarding one of you moving. You’re closing the gap!! What a most exciting moment in an LDR relationship. You now have a final countdown. One (or both) of you is moving and you can start dreaming about the home you’ll have together – and simply being together!
However, unlike close distance couples (or those who may move in together first), things will get complicated with a wedding and a big move at the same time, particularly if it’s across the country or to a different country!
Consider the timeframe and financial implications. Security deposits and moving costs will coincide with final payments for wedding expenses. Make sure you’ve budgeted enough money and time to move and get married without putting yourself under immense pressure. If you prepare in advance, when the final weeks arrive, you’ll get to rejoice in your union without having any (added) stress.
Third, plan your honeymoon thoughtfully. Close distance couples may want to escape to a beach vacation or European honeymoon after the stress of planning the wedding. But long distance relationship couples get to start Day 1 of being together all the time! Perhaps a more low-key honeymoon is all that’s needed.
Get a cabin in the woods or a hotel room in the city. Go somewhere that doesn’t take a lot of time or money to travel to. Remember, you’ve just spent a lot of money on a wedding AND moving. Or even do a stay-home honeymoon! Hibernate in your new home for a week, unpack your gifts, and just enjoy each other’s company, knowing that no one has to go back to the airport.
Finally, remember that getting married and closing the gap will take some adjusting to. Don’t freak out if it’s awkward at first or even a little uncomfortable. This is a huge change for anyone, but especially for long distance couples. Don’t be alarmed if you find yourself wanting time alone, as absurd as it may sound now. Give yourself and your partner grace and remember the vows you made to get you through the hard times.
Remember these few things and your engagement process will go smoothly!