An LDR can take on many guises, you could be dating long distance, planning a wedding and traversing your engagement, or (like me) your marriage is conducted miles apart.
I got married to my husband in Ohio, USA in 2009 and returned to the UK shortly after our union for what we thought would only be months apart. It turned out to be years, as we were not reunited (back in America) until 2013.
When asked about my LDR, people assume I had a huge romantic wedding that somehow provided enough memories for me to live off during our time apart. The truth is, we got married in the local courthouse by a judge who took quick breaks from dealing with criminal cases to wed various couples. We waited in line for our turn – and, well … that was it. The whole process took very little time, and it was just the two of us.
This may sound horrific to some people, as a wedding is a day of celebration and the bringing together of families, love and joy – and I love those weddings too, I can often be found pouring over wedding photos and getting all emotional, especially if they are of my friends or family. I love the feel of the day and the romance involved – but for me, my day had just the same emotion involved. It was just us, it was quiet, and it was meaningful.
The memory of that day is a very special one, and the vows we made to each other meant the world – but it was the love we have for each other that kept us going through the years and miles apart. It was the fact I had found someone who knows when to be strong because I feel weak, who knows when to let me take charge and be the strong one, who knows everything about me (including all the stuff I do not like about myself and would never share with anyone else), who knows when I need protecting or need to be the protector, who knows how to cheer me up when I am down and who loves me no matter what and makes me feel like I can take on the world … this is what got us through the LDR – that no matter what delays and disappointments came our way, there was the unshakable knowledge that it would all be worth it in the end.
Having a big wedding is a beautiful thing, it can create a happy focus when you are apart from your loved ones and is a great source of joy – but if you do not have that, it does not diminish the love, nor the sentiment behind the day. Be proud of your moment, no matter how it happens, as it is about you and the person you love joining together – something that is always worth celebrating, in what ever way you choose.
Thanks for reading!
photo © 2010 Erháld Borbáth, Flickr