Chances are, if you’re here, you woke up today missing someone. Maybe you woke up yesterday missing them and tomorrow you’ll wake up missing them too. Being in an LDR there will be times when you get lonely. (Really lonely.) Unfortunately when you’re in a long distance relationship, missing someone is just something that comes with the territory.
It’s hard being alone “together.” Some days can be so bad that you just break down and cry. You’re not just homesick, you’re HEARTSICK for that special someone. Feeling lonely doesn’t last forever or mean you are less capable of making a long distance relationship work. It just means you are human.
So how can you get over that heartsick, lonely feeling of missing your mate? Here’s 11 ways to stop missing someone, even when you’re missing them SO MUCH.
Keep reminders of your mate around
Keep a photo around, a jacket, a toothbrush, something that smells like them to make the feeling of homesickness go away. It might seem better to do the opposite but having constant reminders of that person you love can actually bring more joy to your days until you can be together.
Celebrate the positives
Sure, your mate isn’t with you, but you don’t have to focus on that! It’s super easy to let the downside of things really get to you until the distance is all you see. Even in the face of distance, there are things to celebrate –and they should be celebrated!
Set & meet milestones
Feeling homesick for someone can be even worse if you don’t have any milestones to look forward to or to celebrate together. It would be like driving down a long road with literally no change in scenery. You know the road is going to end, but there are no landmarks to tell you how far you’ve come and how close you are to the end. Don’t set yourself up for that! Give yourself milestones so you feel like you’re actually making progress.
READ THIS: How To Set Long Distance Goals In 6 Minutes
Plan ahead for extra tough times
You know you’re going to have a bad day every so often, so why not prepare a little ahead of time? Stock your freezer with your favorite ice cream and your cupboards with your favorite snack, get yourself a giftcard to use on the days when you feel really low. Prepare ahead so that when you do feel down, you have something to look forward to in that down moment.
Have a support buddy
Have someone you can rely on to be there for you when that homesickness really sets in. It can be anyone, friend or family, that you really trust and can confide in. That person should be able to help you out even if it’s just to talk over the phone or text your feelings out. The support buddy will help you find a healthy way to get all those feelings out without feeling like you have to deal with it all alone
Don’t get discouraged
Have you ever heard the saying “its just a bad day, not a bad life?” Don’t let this one bad day make you feel like the whole world is crashing down around you. Missing your mate is hard, but at least you have a mate! Take some time to force yourself to reflect, not on what you’re missing, but on what you do have.
Stay connected to your mate
When you miss someone badly to the point of feeling heartsick, it’s usually because you feel detached from them in some way. So when you feel low, do something that makes you feel connected again! That could mean getting right on the phone and texting them, calling them or video-chatting with them.
If you don’t have the luxury of connecting with your partner instantly, do the next best thing: send them a piece of you. Create a care package, write a letter or buy them a gift. This will transform your day from being about how detached you feel to actively doing something to connect again.
READ THIS: 5 Things You Can Do To Make Your LDR Better
Take a break from social media
Missing someone terribly often starts with a trigger, something you may not recognize as a thing that makes you spiral into a deep sadness. Of course we can’t avoid all triggers, but one of the biggest major triggers for being homesick is seeing other couples on social media.
Sure seeing other couples making the long distance thing work can be inspiring a lot of the time, but some days seeing that one couple you follow reunite for the 15th time while you’ve been sitting on wasted time for a year can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
On top of that, seeing your personal friends updates about their relationships can also trigger some sadness in you that can get way out of hand. If you start to notice social media triggers some sadness in you, it might be a good idea to take a break from it.
Don’t feel guilty about having fun
Go out and have fun with your friends, and don’t feel guilty about having fun without your SO. It’s easier to feel depressed and lonely and upset if you’re cooped up somewhere trying not to have fun by yourself. Your mate would want you to have fun so that you can be a healthy, active and happy person as often as possible.
Write your thoughts to yourself
When you feel down, it’s important to have an outlet to express those emotions. Things can get worse if you hold all of that sadness inside. You may not be comfortable telling another person entirely how you feel, so try writing them down in a Journal or emailing your thoughts to yourself when you feel down. This will help you to get rid of some of those pent up emotions, but even better: you’ll be able to read back over your thoughts later (when you’re less heartbroken) and maybe gain some insight on how to make those days better for yourself.
READ THIS: 8 Quotes To Help You Survive The Distance
Make a Happy Playlist
Might seem silly, but music can make a huge difference in our moods. When you feel down you may want to listen to saddest, cry-worthy music you know (and that’s okay, because sometimes we just need a good cry) but it’s also a good idea to have a happy playlist to pep yourself up. It’s impossible to listen to happy upbeat music and for it NOT to overtake you to some extent. You may not be clicking your heels and jumping for joy, but it’s bound to take the edge off of your sadness.